Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Parents who have children in private schools should be taxed to support the state education system



Ber04 1 / -  
Oct 22, 2022   #1
Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



A host of humans believed that parents who have children admitted to private schools should be taxes exoneration which is used for the improvement of the state academic system. Personally, I absolutely disagree with this thought.

There is a plethora of compelling reasons why I still believe the existence of paying taxes, in fact, can play an integral role in the development of educational outsourcing. First, the contribution is not only used for the stated education system supportive on the contrary also for the preparatory school. The fact that with the duty of families who send their minors to independent or state centers of learning, the government can introduce free-of-charge education to increase the gross enrollment rate of the country or provision more extracurricular activities for learning a wide range of transferable skills. Other than that, the higher academic systems are applied, the better qualifications for the students to gain the opportunity to be entitled to top-tier universities. As a result, an educated workforce with diverse socioeconomic backgrounds will be generated, and in turn a thriving economy and civilized society.

One more aforementioned advantage of this law is to create fairness in welfare between wealthy families and underprivileged ones. If the affluent are given the levy discount because of their children's education, we might have a situation where the poorer public pays higher tariffs to balance the nation's stock. Additionally, these kinds of families will not have an abundance of money to pay for student tuition, their juveniles are forced to be dropped out of the academy. This can be led to the rise of the unemployment rate which will put a strain on the sustainable development policy of the politicians.

In conclusion, I firmly dissent against the view about the financial concession for the parents of private children schools should be abolished.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15334  
Oct 23, 2022   #2
I have to wonder if the person who wrote this essay is a lawyer in real life. The way the writing was developed leans towards the use of legal terms, which are advanced English words, but not necessarily applicable in the development of this discussion. When considering everyday words used in this essay to help explain an idea, the does not do a good job of it. He used the advanced English words in the wrong context in this case, which would lead the advanced words leading to a failing LR score rather than boosting the score for that section. Remember that the word meaning needs to apply to the discussion. The idea presented in this essay is not a crime, yet the references used mostly relate to the belief as being some sort of criminal activity or criminal thought. That incorrect representation alone would be enough to fail the test overall.

The writer also fails to attach the thesis statement to the correct paragraph. It should have been attached to the first paragraph as a blended thought in the writer's opinion. It should not be used as a paragraph anchor topic sentence since it does not begin an actual paragraph discussion with a subject.

If I were to dissect this essay with a fine tooth comb, the essay presentation could be summed up in 2 ways. An ESL reader will read the advanced English words and say "Wow! Fantastic discussion! I am impressed by your word usage!" While an English native speaker will read this and ask "Who decided to debate this case in court? Isn't this supposed to be an everyday essay discussion? Who made this writer the prosecutor for the case? This is a totally inappropriate discussion based on word usage. Essay failed."

The focus on word usage ended up being a negative for this presentation. It opened up the writer to more GRA and C+C deductions than he would have received had he used a simple discussion using basic to intermediate English words that are not profession specific. After all, the exam taker is not taking the bar exam, just an IELTS test.


Home / Writing Feedback / Parents who have children in private schools should be taxed to support the state education system
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳