I really need comment on my essay.Thanks.
Do you agree or disagree? "Grades (marks) encourage students to learn more."
At first glance, it seems slightly difficult to draw a definite conclusion if grades encourage students to learn more materials. However, after some considerations, we can see that grades serve useful functions. They are a criteria to check the progress, they motivate students to learn more, and they are evidence for parents.
First and foremost, there is a need for a criterion that shows student's progress process. Students receive feedbacks from their scores. Without grades, how can a student make sure if s/he is doing well in class? This is grades that show students whether they are on the right track, or not. In addition, students can deeply analyze their scores to keep track of their weaknesses. A detailed score system can help students to recognize and work more on their drawbacks.
Secondly, scores will help students keep themselves motivated. If a student receives a remarkable grade after his or her hard work, he or she perceives that his or her great efforts are rewarded. On the other hand, if a student does not get good marks, he or she is encouraged to do his or her best next time in order to get better marks. Furthermore, students tend to compare themselves with other peers through their scores. As a result, the competition rises between students. They put more and more efforts to gain higher marks.
Last but not least, grades are an evidence for parents. Students can show their scores to their parents so that parents can keep track of student's promotion. They can reward their children which in turn encourages the students.
In spite of the undeniable fact that scoring system may hold some dangers, if all the mentioned factors are contemplated, we can see that under most circumstances the benefits of scores outweigh the dangers. Consequently, we may safely reach the conclusion that scores are a proper way to encourage students to learn more.
I recommand you to give some personal experiences or qoute some cases .
It is not thorough enough .
At last para. ,you mentioned about the problem of the scoring system is exist but you hadn't explore it and refute it.
You should do that to make your essay more convincing.
