IELTS 2 : agreement or disagreement towards art at school as an important subject to focus

It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing in Art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative and practical subjects which they may have more aptitude. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today's generations mostly think that artworks are not suitable to be in class. In my opinion, I admit it is true because children have different talents based on their inherited skills although learning to deepen comprehension in art are potential to determine children's ability to value artistic goods.

It is believed that joining art classes at school for children is justified to be preferable because natural talents which symbolize creativity that are not only drawing and painting. Mankind were born with a wide range of aptitude, so when a child is forced to enter art school in which she lacks of confidence, she will get down and feel useless. A similar case was ever found in the observation of 40 toddlers with sport talents in the Netherlands' preschool which revealed that stressful states were detected in 78% of samples when they had to sit down in art class for 3 hours. Therefore, I suppose that children are supposed to have freedom to choose on what talents they would like to develop at school.

Meanwhile, a large number of people have contradict views about this issue as they argue that learning to paint and draw at school can improve children's sense of aesthetics. The children will be able to learn valuing an artistic object if they ever experience the difficulties of conceiving and creating art. In the future, in order to decorate the kid's house to make it beautiful, the kid will be easier to plan himself the design of house that they want. Regardless of it, I strongly believe that people's unique aptitude must be respected since they are children, so art should not become compulsory learning material for kids.

In summary, although art will help people to develop later sense of beauty, I would argue that art courses should be excluded as obligatory subjects at school since children have rights to choose their favorite foci to learn.

Dear ichatea07,

Here you missed the grammar...
people have contradicted views about this issue
the kid will be easier to plan himself the design of house that they want thanS V
Overall, the paragraph is organised well... Keep it up!
Thanks
-indah-

In my opinion, I admit THAT it is true because children have ...

this is my correction for your intro