IELTS WRITING TASK 2: aim is mostly question of luck

Whether or not someone achieves their aim is mostly question of luck.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people deem luck to be the decisive factor to success. Personally, I partly agree with this statement as I believe that whether or not someone can accomplish their aims relies heavily on a variety of other factors.

On the one hand, I accept that luck plays an important role in one's success. The presence of luck can be reflected in opportunities that people may come across during their journeys to realizing their aims. As a matter of fact, these chances can do wonders for them in several ways such as providing them with novel skills and knowledge or giving them a promotion in their jobs. In addition, luck is manifested in a person's family background. Some people are fortunate enough to be born into a wealthy family, and therefore they are provided with sufficient means that allow them to achieve their goals. Innate talents may be also regarded as a form of luck since not many people can excel in their fields and have capability to fulfill their ambitions by nature.

On the other hand, I believe that other factors should be given equal considerations. Firstly, fulfilling an ambition requires an immense passion because this factor is a guarantee that people will be determined, resilient and learn to overcome every adversary and failure. Secondly, people who want to thrive need to manage their emotions properly so that they can respond to negative situations rationally rather than emotionally. Finally, without proper and sufficient social skills, people can hardly achieve their goals. This is because they may not receive any support from social surroundings and have to shoulder all responsibilities on their own, leading to exhaustion and as a result reduction in work efficiency.

In conclusion, while luck can contribute to one's success to some extent, I hold the view that other subjective factors are also of vital importance.

P/s: It would be really nice if you can give me a band score. Thank you for reading!

While you could partly agree with the statement, you will get score demerits because of your lack of clear opinion regarding the given topic. You see, the extent essay requires you to deliver an emotional response in relation to the degree of your support or not support for the discussion. As such, your TA score will be lower than you expected as there is a lack of clarity regarding your actual opinion based on the given discussion.

You will notice that your response is flip-flopping all over the place, trying to defend both points of view, without really making a clear point. That is the lack of clarity in your discussion. What you are saying is actually "I agree, but also disagree." Does that make sense to you? Exactly. You cannot indicate an agreement with both opinions mostly because that means you do not have an opinion. A true extent essay works this way; think of what makes your agree or disagree strongly with the statement and then use 2 reasoning paragraphs to explain it. You could say:

When one considers the factors involved, one would easily see how incorrect this statement is. It is based on 2 strong reasoning factors that I hold a heavy disagreement with the discussion points presented.

Those who agree with this statement indicate that... Upon personal consideration though, I tend to feel the opposite in an extreme manner because...

Along with the others who disagree, we share the point of view that... This is the strongest supporting consideration for our opinion that...

Your opinion has to be clearly in support of one point of view, even if it is only to a certain extent. The format above will help you show the considerations that could make you "partly" agree with the discussion, but in the end, allows you to offer a strong singular opinion, which is the requirement for the extent essay.

Your concluding paragraph should properly summarize the topic, your point of view, and the reasons for it. Your presentation doesn't do that and, it still offers an unclear point of view in the presentation.

It is because of problematic first essay presentations that I do not score essays immediately. I will wait for your second essay and score you then. In, the meantime, I will be using this essay to assess your writing and comprehension abilities. No scoring, no problem section indicators, mostly because your format did not deliver the expected discussion type. I'll score you next time.

@Holt
Thank you for your remarks. They are really helpful to me. However, I want to make it clear that I PARTLY agree with this statement. In my view, luck is important but other factors should not be ignored