Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

An alarming deficiency of basic life skills among high school students. To what extent do you agree


huonggiangkl 1 / -  
Oct 29, 2021   #1

lack of social life skills among students



A number of people believed that an increasing number of high students are likely to lack social life skills. I completely agree with this point of view.

The first reason for this is owing to the fact that high schools tend to teach knowledge and orientation but have not cared and focused on training life skills. Students who study in high school, are virtually wanted to study at university. The condition to be able to study at university is that students can overcome an academic test with a high score. Moreover, the entrance to university test involves theoretical knowledge and is unrealistic. Therefore, to meet the students' requirements, high schools focus on teaching how to get a high mark and do have practical skills lessons. As a result, practicing life skills is an action that students are not interested in.

In addition to the reason above, I also believe that family is also a factor leading to the deficiency of life skills. Families are not frequently appreciated educating basic skill life for children due to the fact they think studying is the most vital and social skill is unnecessary. Furthermore, With the habit of taking care of their children in an environment without challenges causes students to lack opportunities to experience, explore, form, and improve life skills.

For example, a recent survey shows that 75% of high school students do not know how to cook a meal by themselves. As a result, high school students are grown up on the contrary they can not live independently and this causes a detrimental impact on their future.

In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe there are a number of high schools students who lack a social life.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,000 3875  
Oct 31, 2021   #2
high students are likely to lack social

This is not orginally stated as an assumption. This is a statement of fact. Do not alter the original point of view as it changes the overall prompt meaning or discussion target.

I completely agree

The thesis statement must be accompanied by the presentation of 2 topic anchors for the reasoning paragraphs. The restatement f opinion presentation is incomplete/ only partly complete.

are virtually wanted to study at university

This is an improperly structured phrase. A more appropriate presentation would be, " want to study at university". Word exaggerations such as "virtually", when improperly referenced causes confusion for the reader.

For example, a recent survey shows that 75% of high school students

The presentation does not connect to either reasons presented. As this is being presented as an example , it must be merged into one of thez discussion points. Right now, it will just lower your score because it is an underdeveloped paragraph presentation.

The conclusion will not recieve a passing score as it is less than 10 words and does not sum up the discussion in the required format.


Home / Writing Feedback / An alarming deficiency of basic life skills among high school students. To what extent do you agree