What I'm looking for is feedback on my writing. I'm going to be taking the English Composition CLEP exam soon and I would like feedback on my essay writing. These are my questions. 1. Are any of the Moderators familiar with the Clep exam? 2. If so, could you rate my essays in terms of the clep exam? I did not include a essay but I'm writing one right now, and will send it in soon.
If you post your original essay, we'll be happy to provide a feedback.
Should the United States continue to spend billions of dollars on the space program or should the money be directed to other areas?
The United States space program is very beneficent. There have been some set backs to the space program, such as space ships crashing and the loss of astronauts lives. But there are many benefits that come from studying and researching the different space possibilities. Much of the research goes into learning about the different planets and what is on and what is around the plants. But, there is also research into satellites, space stations and the possibility of another world in space. What if the world becomes over populated?
First, satellites have many different purposes. Some satellites are for countries defense programs while others are for satellite television. The satellites for the defense program are very advanced, and are in place to help protect the country from a missile attack. Millions of dollars have been spent designing and building the defense satellites and even know American cannot see the physical use, the satellites are in place for the protection of the country. If the space program was not started, then a foreign country could launch a missile and the Unite States would not see the missile coming. This is one reason that more money and research should be put into the space program.
Second, better space stations need to be built. If the space program is allowed more money than it can improve the space station capabilities, which would allow more room for equipment and more living space for the astronauts. I would like to see more astronauts living in space and more research being done. If the world population keeps growing, than with more living area in space than we could fly humans up to space to live up there for a while.
Third, could there be another world? Improving travel in space is the greatest need, thus allowing farther travel in space could allow the astronauts to search for another world. From the research that has been done to this point, astronauts have only discovered a small percentage of the galaxies. If the United States could find another world that is populated with humans, this would be an enormous advancement for the space program.
Americans need to support the space program financially through education programs. This would allow more American students to become involved and more training for future astronauts. This support would help the nations defense program, along with better satellite television and hopefully create a lifetime living space station.
You've written a good essay; I have some editing suggestions for you:
There have been some setbacks to the space program,
the loss of astronauts' lives.
What if the world becomes over populated? - It's best to avoid rhetorical questions in this type of essay.
First, satellites have many different purposes. - This is a rough transition; you went from overpopulation to satellites in one jump.
Some satellites are for countries' defense programs
Millions of dollars have been spent designing and building the defense satellites and even though Americans cannot see the physical use, the satellites are in place for the protection of the country. If the space program had not been started, then a foreign country could launch a missile and the Unite States would not see the missile coming.
If the space program is allowed more money, it can improve the space station capabilities,
If the world population keeps growing, then with more living area in space, we could fly humans up to space to live up there for a while.
This support would help the nation's defense program, along with better satellite television, and eventually lead to creation of a lifetime living space station.
Best of luck in your studies!