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IELTS Writing Task 1 - The amount of fruit produced in four countries from 1970 to 2010.


elwynht 2 / -  
Jun 24, 2022   #1

fruit production comparison



The line graph illustrates the production of fruit in four nations: France, Spain, Germany, and Turkey between 1970 and 2010.

It could be seen that the amount of fruit produced in Spain and Germany observed a down string trend while the reverse could be seen in that of others countries. Additionally, Turkey took the initiative in producing fruit throughout the period.

In particular, starting at approximately 5.5 million tonnes in 1970, fruit production in Spain rose marginally to a staggering 6 million tonnes in the next ten years before dropping gradually and hit the bottom at 5 million tonnes in 2010. Besides, Germany produced merely 2.5 million tonnes of fruit in the first year of the period; thereafter this figure decreased moderately by 1 million tonnes in 1990 and then stayed static until the end of the course, marking the lowest rate of the chart.

At the beginning of the course given, the corresponding figure in Turkey and France were in the vicinity of 2 and 1 million tonnes, respectively. Subsequently, the former registered a relative constant rise to 3.5 million tonnes over a 40-year period, surpassing the fruit manufactors of Germany. Meanwhile, the latter increased slightly by 1 million tonnes in 1990, after which it continued rising to hit the top at nearly 3 million tonnes at the course end despite an insignificant rise between 1990 and 2000.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,839 4175  
Jun 24, 2022   #2
The writer has included fake information in his report by indicating that

Turkey took the initiative in producing fruit throughout the period.

A thorough review of the image does not support such a worded claim as only numerical data is provided without any text based references. This makes the TA score inaccurate as a personal opinion does not factor into the report presentation. The writer has misled the reader in terms of data accuracy with this statement. Deductions will apply. Exaggerated claims are unacceptable in all the task essays.

While the analysis is well presented, it is also filled with too much filler words that it is obvious the writer has focused the work only on achieving a good LR score rather than a balanced overall sectional score. Even then some word references are incorrect or do not exist in the English dictionary. The constant over-stretching of sentence information creates confusion due to difficulties in following / tracking the data report.
beckaa 3 / 7  
Jun 26, 2022   #3
1. This is a run-on sentence as well as the phrase "it could be seen that" is not really suitable for writing Task 1 in general.
It could be seen that the amount of (...) while the reverse could be seen in that of others countries.

2. These figures are from the past so you should be careful with the grammar "Meanwhile, (...) despite an insignificant rise between 1990 and 2000." rise --> rose
janeedilyss 3 / 5  
2 days ago   #4
I suggest: "In general, the amount of fruit produced by Spain took a leading position over the period shown. While the figures for France and Turkey witnessed upward trends, that of Germany underwent a downward trend within the given period."


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