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IELTS WRITING TASK 1 The amount of money spent by british parents on their children's sports

ahmadsalim 1 / -  
Jun 13, 2022   #1

average monthly spend on children's sports

The line charts provide changes on the british childrens's sports expanditure, measured in pounds currency and changes on how many british children who favoured various sports namely, footbal, Athletics, and swimming, measured in million for a six years period of time from 2008 to 2014.

In general, the amount of money spent for british children's sports, also the number of kids who favoured swimming saw a gradual rise. Simmilarly, athletics and football also had an upward trend but they tend to fluctuate over the period.

To begin with, all three different sports favoured by the british kids had an upward trend. Swimming stood at just under 2,5, then it increased gradually reaching approximately at 3,2. On the other hand, footbal and athletics they had a fluctuation. they stood at just over 7,5 and nearly zero respectively in 2008. Having increased fluctuately and by the end of the period they ended at just under 10 and almost 5 respectively.

Simmilar to the kids who favoured swimming, the british kid expanditure on sports also inclined gradually. it started at 20 pounds in 2008 and ended just over 30 in 2014.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,856 4178  
Jun 13, 2022   #2
The summary overview is quite confusing to the reader. It fails to clearly state the number of line graphs and what each graph represents There must be 2 seperate image summaries indicated for this purpose. The total sentence number should be no less than 3 to achieve this objective. This is an insufficient summary.

Consistent spelling errors will lower the LR score of this presentation. Failure to spot and correct these mistakes indicate both a lack of quality control in the writing and insufficient knowledge of English words. These can add to confusion when trying to iunderstand the paragraph content.

The lack of proper image content separation in the paragraphs leave the reader wondering where the information came from. By not correctly providing the image sources, the paragraph loses both coherence and cohesiveness.

The essay is not well written. The aforementioned problems can very well result in a failing score. These areas of concern must be improved upon in the next practice task.

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