Analyse an argument: Cutting down on water expenses. Lowering water pressure in showers

"analyse an issue"

I am writing a GRE exam in less than 2 weeks. I am grappling with "analyse an issue" section. Please give me tips
on how to improve.

Sample Question

The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment complex to its manager.
"One month ago, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. I predict that modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits even more dramatically."

My response

The owner of Sunnyside Towers predicts that restricting water flow in the showers of all twelve buildings would increase their profits. However more information is needed in order to assess if his argument is reasonable. A number of questions need to be answered in order to asses if company would in fact make a profit from a decreased water pressure in the showers.

One would have to ask if there was a decrease in water usage after the decreased water flow in the showers of the first three buildings. One would first need to compare the water readings before and after the adjustment in order to ascertain whether there was a significant decrease in water usage.

Even if it is found that there was reduced costs for water that month, one would have to consider if these savings would be the same in the long term. Perhaps after a month, the residents will now use baths instead of showers and end up using more water.

One would also need to find out the costs of modifying the showerheads. If the water usage did not decrease significantly, perhaps the cost of modifying the showerheads is much more than the amount that would be saved by decreased water usage.

Even if decreased water pressure would lead to decrease water usage, would the company really make more money? Perhaps, because of the decreased water pressure, the Sunnyside Towers apartments would become less popular, resulting in decrease in the number of residents. If less apartments are occupied, the manager may make a loss from this alteration in water pressure.

The manager should also consider alternative ways of reducing water costs. He could ask whether the company would make more of a profit by introducing water restrictions. Meaning that if the residents use above a certain amount of water, they could be billed for it. Consequently, the residents may be more motivated to save water.

In conclusion, there are some questions that need to be answered before deciding whether the managers predictions are reasonable: Firstly, has there been a decrease in water usage from the recent modification of showerheads? Furthermore, would this adjustment result in a decreased water usage in the long term? What are the costs of this adjustment? Lastly, perhaps an alternative method of cutting water costs would result in more profit?

Esther, I believe that you have done enough work in this essay to score around a 4 with it in an actual setting. The reason that I believe that this would be the score for this work lies in the way that you formatted the essay. The paragraph presentations are lacking transition sentences from the end of one paragraph to the start of the other. This limits the fluidity of the discussion and creates a choppy presentation.

The discussion that you presented shows that you truly did your best to understand the full extent of the prompt you were given. Most of your discussions are on the mark in most instances except in the concluding paragraph. Rather than repeating your inquiries, you should be stating these questions as facts that require a proper response. For example, I would have said:

In the end, it is difficult to support the claim that the lessening of water usage in the apartment complex has resulted in lower water usage and better monthly bill costing for the developer. Unless the previous, current, and future water usage data can be compared, a solid claim based on this idea cannot be made. There also needs to be an observation period of at least 6 months when it comes to water usage in order to determine the actual water usage trend in the first 3 buildings....

I think that it is in this part of the presentation that yo have the most difficulty so you should consider paying more attention to and practicing the way that you write your concluding analysis of the GRE topics you use for practice.