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GRE Analytical writing task - scientific discoveries help in understanding the world.


prepbuddy 1 / 1  
Aug 10, 2013   #1
Topic: "Some people believe that scientific discoveries have given us much better understanding of the world around us. Others believe that science has revealed that the world is infinitely more complex than we ever realized."

my answer to this:

It differs from person to person what level of understanding of the world they are expecting science to give them, which divides them in opinion. If knowing everything about nature - what everything is, why they are, what determine their behaviour and why so - is the quest, then science has its limits in answering. Science can tell you what an electric field does to a charge, but not what it is exactly, and why it is. These questions and their answers lie beyond the realm of scientific discoveries.

On the contrary, how nature works, the basic laws governing the phenomenon we encounter, is the understanding scientific discoveries can provide us with. Science is the study of nature, what can be observed and measured by us. Thus, through measurements and observation, scientific discoveries have explained the phenomenon around the world. For example, in the Southern Hemisphere, coloured curtain-like patches are observed in the night sky; scientific community has explained that this is due to motion of charged particles in the magnetic field of earth and ionizing the particles in the earth's atmosphere. This very 'motion of charges in magnetic field' is used as the principle for moving them in cyclotron and the famous LHC.

There are many more examples showing how our understanding of the world is affected by the scientific discoveries. The discovery of genes, being the cause of traits of organism, gave way to genetic engineering, cloning, mix-breeding, designer baby and what not. This made u understand the basis of some our human traits. Everyday new researches are carried out, discovering which hormones play role in occurrence of which emotions and feeling, adding to our knowledge of human mind and heart.

Science has not just explained physical and psychological phenomenon, but is also probing the materials available around, that made life possible, in the first place. NASA has undertaken various missions to search signs of extra-terrestrial life on our moon, Mars, and now Europa. They study rock samples, availability of water, and the atmosphere, and thus, adding to our vision of the world. Back to earth, there are various investigations going on to understand the ocean life, minerals, and the magnetic field of the Earth and the inner layers of it. These are adding to what we know about the world, and thus we are using them in our stride.

The direct evidence of our knowledge of the world is the technology we have in hand. If ever we lacked in understanding, we, particularly the engineers and scientific community, could not have used scientific discoveries to make our lives easier. With the knowledge of light being an electromagnetic wave, came the era of fast communication, internet. With the discovery of constant speed of light, through the Special Theory of Relativity, came GPS system in service. Further, understanding semiconductor brought the digitalisation of every gadget and their shrinking dimensions, followed by nanotechnology. All this is a gift of understanding the world through scientific knowledge.

Given the restricted span of science, limited to what can be observed, it has given us much better understanding of the world around us. Every aspect of nature- phenomenon, organisms and materials, has been exploited by man to make his life easier, through development of technology, which wouldn't have been possible without knowing nature.

....
Can you please tell me how would you rate this, and what improvements would you suggest to this? Also if you have any examples that could be added please do mention..

Thanks in advance.

jinx 1 / 2  
Aug 10, 2013   #2
A very nice piece of article ...!!!! on a scale of 6 you definitely be given 5 !!!!
OP prepbuddy 1 / 1  
Aug 11, 2013   #3
jinx, are there no grammatical errors or something in the whole of it? (I can't believe that.)
Can someone else please go through this and confirm if there are any grammatical errors?(so that I get an assurance again.)
dumi 1 / 6,929 1592  
Aug 15, 2013   #4
Hi
First, welcome to EF! Since you are new, I have just one admin point to tell you :)
Open your GRE essay threads in Writing Feedback forum.( In this case I moved this essay from Undergraduate to Writing Feedback)

It differs from person to person what level of understanding of the world they are expecting science to give them, which divides them in opinion. If knowing everything about nature - what everything is, why they are, what determine their behaviour and why so - is the quest, then science has its limits in answering.

... I wish you reduced the length of your sentences to enhance the effectiveness of the flow of ideas. When your sentences are too long, the reader needs to make lots of effort to remember the details which I'm sure he doesn't like :)


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