Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


It appears that the youth crime rate have experienced a significant increase to the alarming level



Ilmi_03 47 / 67  
May 22, 2016   #1
It appears that the youth crime rate have experienced a significant increase to the alarming level. While many factors might be attributed to this incident, I believe that the lack of education provided by parents and teachers is the main cause of this problem.

Undoubtedly, modern people tends to meet their children's economic condition rather than emotional learning. Parents spend much more time for work all day, so they lost opportunity to interact with their children. They do not deliver whether the bad and good behavior to perform in the society. The research conducted in the University of Durham, England, found that 83 percent of parents who work only met her children at breakfast and less likely to engage in deep conversations. They do not know their children activities and development. As the consequence, every 6 out of 10 children registered to have problems in school. Thus, the role of parents as the primary educators are very important.

In addition , the school as an environment where students spent the most time every day do not teach about social intelligence. One on the major reasons is the assumption that the best students who are have a high grades or attained some achievements, not the polite and social skilled students. For example, several students in favorite schools often won the competitions, but they also bullying their friends. Unfortunately, teachers did not notice this phenomenon because it is not the main form of assessment. Secondly, the subjects of religion and morality were taught about the values become a minority subjects in schools. It is due to teachers assigned students to memorize theories separately and not to practice in daily life . Thus, it is not strange if students do after school fights or other violence.

In brief, while several factors influence the increase of yougster in crime, I strongly believe that parent and schools are the primary determinant. Therefore, both of them have to effort a a systematic approach to keep their children.

Novi 7 / 5  
May 23, 2016   #2
Hi Ilmy, glad to read your essay, here are some corrections for you, keep on writing. Cheer!

Undoubtedly, modern people tendstend to meet their children's economic condition rather than giving/give emotional learning. Parents spend much more time for workworking/ to work all day, so they lost ...

They do not deliver(better to use teach/give/ advise) whether the bad and ...
The research conductedhas been conducted in the University of Durham, England, found that 83 percent of parents who work only met hertheir children at breakfast and less ...

They do not know their children activitieschildren's activities and development. As the consequence,in every 6 out of 10 children ...
Thus, the role of parents as the primary educators are very important.The parent's role as the primary educators are paramount/crucial needed.


Home / Writing Feedback / It appears that the youth crime rate have experienced a significant increase to the alarming level
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳