Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6

What can arts tell us of life that science cannot?

Ngocdoan 1 / 2 1  
Feb 10, 2017   #1

values of art

In the age of technology, science is thriving rapidly everyday and the incredible supports for human like computer, smartphone, robot and internet... are undeniable. However, art is still no less important when some people rate the value of art very high. Indeed, there are some affects from art to soul of human that science never can do.

To begin with, music makes us feel comfortable, relieve stress, also lift our emotion, help people feel cheerful. For example, in some researches show that playing at least one musical instrument will raise our IQ up to 3 points more. On the other hand, observe skill will be developed when drawer look at the objects in order to perform it again on the art material. Beside, the distinctive way we transfer our emotion and private view to the viewers is not like any science subjects.

Dance is also a form of art, dance follow the music improve condition of heart and lung, keep the body fitness, increased muscular strength, physical confident and mental functioning. Whereas, science do not have these astonishing capability to support human.

In brief, science is really essential to everyday life to heighten result in work and benefit every aspect of life. However, it is true that there are some values from art inspire human that no science field can do.

foyuliu 5 / 20 9  
Feb 10, 2017   #2
Hi Truong, I am also practicing writing essay. And I found this is a great forum and a lot of talents are willing to help us. However, to have reviewer comment on the essay more accurately, it is very important to share for which exam the essay is targeting, full prompt and word limit. So please try to provide more information.

One note for following sentence, you are mixing tenses, keep as present and increased as past tense.
dance follow the music improve condition of heart and lung, keep the body fitness, increased muscular strength
Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Feb 10, 2017   #3
Truong, Ethan has given a very good piece of advice regarding how to post your essays here. Without the information required for the completion of the essay, we will not know where to begin reviewing your content and what kind of advice we can offer to help you improve your written skills. While your work seems to be well developed and logical, the lack of information about the demands of the essay topic leaves me wondering about how accurately you have responded to the prompt and whether you have represented all of the expected elements of the requirements. Kindly upload the necessary instruction and topic discussion as soon as you can so that I can do a better job of reviewing and advising you regarding the points for revision in your essay.
OP Ngocdoan 1 / 2 1  
Feb 10, 2017   #4
Oh hey! Thanks you! I know, and will pay attention in the next time I post :))

@Holt @foyuliu
Thank you! This is the first time I post my essay so I still have some lack of information , so here is the full topic of my ielts writing task 2:

At present, science is developing quickly, but some people still have a high opinion of artists.
What can arts tell us of life that science cannot
Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Feb 10, 2017   #5
Truong, you seem to have misunderstood the prompt. The reference to art that is being made in the prompt is not about the effect of music and dance on people but rather, the way that life can be interpreted through art. The reference that the topic makes is to the arts in terms of paintings, drawings, sketches, collages, etc. The arts that talk about life, not the arts that fills life. So there is misdirection of the prompt in your discussion. The clue as to how to discuss the essay came from the fact that the prompt asks you to discuss "What can arts tell us of life that science cannot". This is a reference to the way that the aforementioned types of graphic art can help people learn about the way of life of bygone era, such as 18th century artwork, or the works of the great artists such as Van Gogh, and Monet. Their paintings depicted life in a way that science can never impart to people. This is actually a trick question that tests your ability to decipher keywords and the hidden meaning behind the prompts. This is a test of your analytical skill and cultural references. While your discussion was good, I do not feel that it properly addressed the prompt because you failed to recognize the real meaning behind the implied discussion.
OP Ngocdoan 1 / 2 1  
Feb 11, 2017   #6
Oh yeah, I understand, I thought it has something wrong, now I clear, thanks you and I will rewrite it in tomorrow! :)

Home / Writing Feedback / What can arts tell us of life that science cannot?