Attend college support people to go through their bitter or sweet student life

hi~ I'm new member here, hoping to get some help

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experience, career preparations, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your examples to support your answer.

The general idea for most of the people attending colleges or universities is getting more job opportunities and career plasticity in their future life and career. Let me elaborate above conception a little bit specific here. Some people want to earn more money, some expect to get a higher social position, and still some have sheer obsession on doing research. I think the former two kinds of people are pursuing (seeking, chasing) a relatively stable life style for they don't have to worry about their retired life. The latest one is full of esoteric investigation thoughts in their brain all day long, to say nothing of their retired life; they will not retiring form research jobs!

In our society, the net salary for undergraduate or graduate students is higher than high school students. The first kind of people convince that by getting degrees they will have higher income which bring them better life quality. Thus, the characteristic of them is they will take part-time jobs aggressively in order to get in to career as soon as they graduate from college. The second one believes that by attending college they may meet more people whom may help them in their jobs. This group of people likes to join school clubs where they can make many friends there, and they usually volunteer to lead the club activities. The last group of student is willing to be a researcher as their career life, so they attend college course for PhD preparation. They usually spend most of their time on their subject studying or lab working experiences, which may help them to better understand how to be a standard investigator.

In summary, people attend college for a variety reasons, I just name a few examples here. Most important of all, people must need to find one or some reasons which will support them go through their bitter or sweet student life, no matter what it would be.

All suggestions are welcome
Thank you

Your introduction generally looks good. But you should not state some for many times: Some people want to earn more money, some expect to get a higher social position, and still some have sheer obsession on doing research. Instead, Some people want to earn high salary, while other expect to get a higher social position and do deep investigation in their research arena. Those 3 reasons are main factor that lead to pursue the tertiary education.

it can be divided into 2 or 3 paragraphs. in the supporting paragraph, you can include earning and cooperating with others. Later, third section, you additionally include doing deep research for making breakthrough and so on.

Yes, pay attention to the structure that Pahan suggested above. The structure of your essay is very important for earning a decent score. A good structure contains all important features that help you earn marks and also it helps you manage time, which is also a very important aspect in this task. Read the sample essays that Pahan has provided you with to get a knack about this structure.


.... Start your body paras with the reason that you use to justify your points. What is the reason here? It is that;
First, people pursue a tertiary education seeking better career prospects such as higher salaries and other career perks.

agi
Thank you for suggestion, I will revise the sentence and paragraph.

Hey there. Your ideas are good but i suggest that you write 3 separate paragraphs about
'Some people want to earn more money, some expect to get a higher social position, and still some have sheer obsession on doing research' these three paragraphs. Remember that a paragraph should always introduce new topic and elaborate on it however you are including too much information in one paragraph. So on toefl, if you write the way i suggest, it will lead you to higher score.

Good Luck!