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IELTS 2: Average weight of people is increasing and level of health decreasing,solution



Jins 1 / -  
Dec 12, 2013   #1
In recent time, there is no doubt that as far as the quality of life is concerned, people have become a stable life than before. Since People enjoyed their life, they have considered their lives to improve the quality of life. People of some countries are increasing their average weight whereas their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.

Increasing average weight might have a couple of reasons as follows. Firstly, By Technology, people are easy to work and play without time and place. People can enjoy activity without going out. They have missed a chance to reduce their energy. Secondly, People can have more foods to eat than ever before. Some people have some meal such as junk food. It affects gaining weight.

To solve these problems, firstly, people should set up a diet for health. People enjoy outdoor activity such as hiking, jogging instead of staying at home. And they should regularly work out. Also, People should eat a lower food instead of junk food. Such as chips pizza. Also, people should consider their health. To keep their body of health, they have to think about their lifestyle. If people have interested in their health, they can keep good shape.

In conclusion, It is clear that there are various problem for health and steps need to be taken to tackle this phenomenon. In order for these countries to see changes in their health They must get into a solid routine of eating better and doing more activities To keep their health.

dumi 1 / 6795  
Dec 12, 2013   #2
Well, I think you better pay more attention to the essay structure that can earn marks for this task.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Dec 12, 2013   #3
By Technology, people are easy to work and play without time and place

.... this is a confusing sentence.... you do not express your ideas clearly.
First, with the advancement of technology, people find convenient solutions to manage their day to day activities and therefore they are no longer required to engage in manual work. This makes them burn less energy leading them to encounter with many health related issues.

You should have included the full prompt with your essay. Without seeing it properly, it is difficult for us to make more meaningful comments. Please post it here.
SreeSam 12 / 38  
Dec 12, 2013   #4
people have become a stable life than before

- people's life has become stabilized than before.

Since People enjoyed their life, they have considered their lives to improve the quality of life

Meaning of this sentence is not clear.

You need to improve a lot on writing. Do checkout the essays which are posted in this forum for help.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: Average weight of people is increasing and level of health decreasing,solution
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