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IELTS 1, BAR CHART: the amount of money which France and UK spent on five types of consumer goods


wanbincd 1 / -  
May 4, 2020   #1

SPENDING ON CONSUMER GOODS IN FRANCE AND THE UK



The bar chart compares the amount of money which France and UK spent on five types of consumer goods in 2010.
Overall,it is clear that UK spent more time on these goods. UK spent more money than France on Cars, books and cameras than France but less money on all the other household tasks

Expenditure on cars was the highest in the consumer with 450000 pounds on UK compared with 400000 pounds on France. There was a significant difference in term of cameras. UK spent 350000 pounds, which was more than 2 times figure of France. The amount of money for books was almost 400000 for UK and 300000 for US.

There were only two tasks on which France spent more than UK. However, the difference was relatively small, at about 370000 and 350000 pounds for France and UK respectively on computers. The figure on perfume was 200000 pounds for France, a little more than UK, which had just below 150000 pounds.




Holt [Contributor] - / 9,378 2892  
May 4, 2020   #2
The presentation is good. However, in your desire to finish the task within the time limit, you failed to accurately report information in certain instances. To be specific:

- In the summary overview, you said there were 5 comparison points, but you only enumerated 4. You have to report all 5.
- In paragraph 2, you mentioned that the UK spent 2 times more than France, but you forgot to mention what the figure for France was to prove your data presentation.

- When you write a topic sentence, make sure you indicate the 2 sets of information you will be presenting:

There were only two tasks on which France spent more than UK. These tasks were related to computers and perfume sales.

By making a clear topic sentence, it will be easier for the reader to keep track of the information in your report, even if you change the positions of the data presentation.


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