The bar chart compares three types of difficulties that people have when they move to a new country

The chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries.

The bar graph compares three selected difficulties people have when they move to a new country in accordance with age. Overall, it can be seen that healthcare is the main problem from people aged over 35, while the problem of finding their children's schools is the least difficulties for all ages.

The young adults have the most crucial problem with their finances, 34 %. On the other hand, 32 percent of them face sorting out healthcare problem. And the least in finding their children the best study.

Setting their finances for the middle age is the serious problem, because there are 35 percent of them facing it, compared to the elderly just under 30 percent. However, both middle and elder people have the same cases of maintaining their health, each of them which are over a third of people living abroad according both ages. Interestingly, there is a significant difference between persons with 35-54 and over 55 years old in finding the best education for their children, 18 percent and 2 percent respectively.

(173 words)

• 
  percentage of problem for living abroad
  

Hi Ilham,

Here's my contributions towards your report summary of IELTS task 1. Hope this helps :)

1st paragraph:
- The bar graphchart compares three selectedtypes of difficulties that people have when (...) in accordance with age.among three distinctive age groups.
- ...healthcare is the main problem from people aged over 35 (comma is unnecessary) while the problem (...) is the least difficultiesdifficult for all agesage groups . (avoid over-generalizing the data that you've explained.)

2nd paragraph:
- The young adults have the most crucial problem with their finances, at approximately 34% . (no spaces needed when you write a percentage symbol)
- AndIn addition,the least in finding their children the best study.the least percentage comes from people who has problem in finding schools for their children.(Avoid using "and" in the beginning of the sentence. This would make your sentence becomes less formal.)

There you have it Ilham, you are suggested maintain the content of each of your paragraph to be as balanced as possible. You can group the information equally in order to improve the clarity of your essay. Good luck for the next practice :)

hallo Mr. Ibe

it is just like a superb essay, but i would like to give you some suggestions here:

1. you have written a very good introduction and overview. however, if i were you, i would like to make the overview in more general. this is because it can cover all the main features.

here is my overview:
it is generally seen that two age groups under 55 years old are facing crucial problems in finances, healthcare, and finding school for their children. meanwhile, those who are over 55 years old have lower proportion for each difficulty.

2. in your body paragraphs i cannot find such an excellent cohesion. i suggest you to write your body paragraph by developing two main ideas which have been written in your overview.