Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5


IELTS task1 / Bar Chart / Destination of UK graduates and postgraduates after leaving college


alice1426 3 / 8 2  
Sep 25, 2019   #1

what British students do after they finish college?



The bar charts compare the destination of UK graduates and postgraduates who did not seek for a full-time job after graduated from college in 2008.

It is clear from the first chart that there were four main destinations and that students, after leaving college, mostly went to pursue for further study, with a number as high as just under 30,000 people. By contrast, the least number of students chose voluntary work as their next step after leaving school.

When it regards to postgraduates, we can also see from the second chart that students who did not go directly for work tended to show a similar trend as the graduates did. Among the four main destination, going for further study was still the main option for postgraduate students, reaching a total of 2,725 people, and those who chose to do volunteer work accounted for merely 345 people.

In summary, we can easily tell from both of the bar charts that going for further study was the main choice for either graduate and postgraduate students who did not seek for a full-time work after leaving college, and that volunteer work remained the least popular option for them.


  • source: www.testbig.com
ntlinhtran 3 / 8 3  
Sep 26, 2019   #2
Task Achievement:
- You did answer the question "what British do after they finish the college?"
- Around 190-200 words -> fulfill the requirement
- Overall key trends and have comparisons

Coherence and Cohesion:
- Information and ideas are described generally clear.
- The way you describe the ideas, however, still a little confusing and wordiness

Lexical Resource:
- Has a basic range of vocabulary relating to this task, but still need more advanced and less common vocabulary
- The introduction is paraphrased very little

Grammatical Range and Accuracy
- You did tried using complex sentence, but as mentioned before, quite wordiness.

You can read the some sample answer on internet
OP alice1426 3 / 8 2  
Sep 26, 2019   #3
@ntlinhtran
Thank you for the helpful suggestions.
camkimble 2 / 3  
Sep 27, 2019   #4
make sure you add an "s" on destinations- "Among the four main destination"
in your conclusion, you should say "one can easliy tell..."
OP alice1426 3 / 8 2  
Sep 27, 2019   #5
@camkimble
thanks!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task1 / Bar Chart / Destination of UK graduates and postgraduates after leaving college
Do You Need
Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳