Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Ielts writing task 1 bar chart about holiday accommodation


Thegiftedone 1 / -  
Dec 27, 2021   #1

The bar chart compares four countries in the UK in terms of holiday accommodation in 2010.



From an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the British mostly favored hotel over others services, while camping was the least popular activity.

In 2010, the figure for hotels was highest in England, at about 55%, followed by those of Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland, with 52%, 48%, and 44%, respectively.
The Scottish, however, had the highest proportion in self-catered holiday, with 30%, nearly three times that of Nothern Ireland, at 12%.

While having the lowest figures in self-catering and hotel accommodation, Northern Ireland, however, had the highest percentage of a caravan holiday, at remarkably 31%, much higher than those of England, Scotland, and Wales, with 7%, 12%, and 9%, consecutively. The figures for camping in all the countries mentioned share nearly an equal proportion, at approximately 12%, except for Scotland, which had the lowest of only 5%.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,303 3989  
Dec 28, 2021   #2
From an overall perspective

You went directly to the trending statement without offering a proper summary overview. This will cost you percentage points in the task assessment section. You have not followed the required presentation format for the essay. Only the trending statement can be placed anywhere in the remaining paragraphs. The opening statement must always be the summary overview.

The reporting sections are well presented but not analyzed to a great extent. So the cohesiveness of the essay, in relation to analysis of the report is weak and will not get a very good score. The task 1 essay always gets a better final score when the writer takes the time to actually analyze and compare, rather than just report on the facts from the images. Next time, try to focus a little bit more on the comparison and analysis discussion aspect. You were too quick to end it in this report.


Home / Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 1 bar chart about holiday accommodation