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Writing task 1: The chart below shows the percentage of households owned and rented accommodation

Minmin279 1 / 2  
Apr 26, 2022   #1

households accommodation in England and Wales

The bar chart compares the rate of households owning and renting amenities in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011.

Overall, it can be observed that households marginally favored renting accommodation over owning accommodation between 1918 and 1961. By contrast, the proportion of households in owned accommodation was virtually higher than that in rented accommodation from 1918 till the end of the period shown.

From the beginning, households renting took dominance, with a support rate of nearly 80% in 1991, which was almost 4 times higher than that of households owning. Subsequently, the percentage of households renting gradually went down, but the rise in households owning continued. As a result, the figure for these two types of households had a balanced rate of 50% of each.

Over the following 30 years, the proportion of households owning reached 69% in 2001 after a steady increase. While renting households experienced the opposite trend, reaching around 30% in 2001, which was three times lower than in 1918. There were nearly no changes over the next decade, but there was a minor drop in households owning and a slight rise in households renting.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,976 4812  
Apr 26, 2022   #2
The word meaning for accomodation is not the same as the word amenities. So that is an LR error in the presentation that will cost the writer in terms of scoring. The writer must familiarize himself better with word meaning and alternative word usage. Just because a word sounds applicable, does not mean that it is applicable. Always double check the word meaning before applying it to the written work.

Comparison paragraphs must start from 1918 as these are the starting points for the presentation. The presentation tends to not have a solid comparison trend within the paragraphs, making these difficult to follow. The writer must assess how he wants to write the report in each paragraph, focusing in a specific presentation style, prior to drafting it. After drafting, he must think of how he can further tighten the presentation for clarity. Learn to group the discussions.
OP Minmin279 1 / 2  
Apr 26, 2022   #3
thanks for your feedback. I'll try my best to improve my flaws. Could I ask you what the result could be if my essay was scored in IELTS? I need to know to adjust my self-studying course. Thank u so much.

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