The bar chart below shows numbers of Australia local, national, international and mobile calls

the overall number of minutes of Australia telephone calls

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The given bar chart illustrates the overall number of minutes of Australia telephone calls by three categories between 2001 and 2008.

Overall, there was a changeable trend of telephone calls time in three categories over an 8 years period. In addition, local calls always had the largest number of minutes compared to other kinds in Australia.

It can see clearly that in the first five years, the minutes of local telephone calls raised gradually from 72 billions in 2001 and then reached a peak of 90 billions in 2005. Surprisingly, this figure declined steadily in the final years and returned with the number of 72 billions minutes. Meanwhile, national & international and mobile calls saw an upward trend from 2001 to 2008. Only 38 billions minutes of National and International calls was counted in 2001 and then increased nearly twofold to get the highest point in 2008. There was also a dramatic growth in Mobile calls time, stated at only 2 billions minutes and rose to 61 billions in 2008, which also was the kind of telephone calls in Australia having the lowest total number in the chart.

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Your presentation can be clearer. In the first paragraph, you should be listing the 3 categories from the image along with the measurement value used (calls in minutes). By the way, it is "Australian telephone calls" not "Australia telephone calls". Australia is the country, Australians as the people who live in Australia. Be careful of your word usage. Make sure to not call the people of a country by the country name accidentally. That is really a serious LR error.

Your trending statement is one sentence short to make it an acceptable paragraph. A good paragraph has 3 sentences in it. The best paragraph has 5 sentences in it. However, It is not just the number of sentences that matter. A proper mix of simple and complex sentences are required for a better GRA score. Your last paragraph doesn't really help you reflect that so you should make sure that you do a better job with your sentence structure next time.