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The chart below shows the numbers of three types of visitors to a museum between 1997 and 2012.

Tran Hans 1 / -  
Nov 15, 2023   #1
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of three kinds of tourists who came to a museum from 1997 to 2012.
Overview, factors associated with visitors below 15 years aged that exhibited a declining trend. Meanwhile, both older customer and special tourists displayed an opposing pattern when exhibited a notable upward trend between 1997 and 2012.

During a fifteen-year period, the ratio of adult visitors had the top spot when to went up from 300, 100 in 1997 to 400, 500 in 2007, which turned into the largest ratio during had open museum to patron saw exhibition in numerous years. However, in 2012, the proportion of it seemed to experience a marginal decline with 380, 000. On the other hand, tourists under 15 years observed a decrease and seemed to fall consistently from 120, 00 in 1997 to 82, 300 in 2012.

Thereafter, special exhibition companion when skyrocketed with ratio between 28, 000 in 1997 and 42, 000 in 2012, which became to one of the element attracted to came museum in a plethora of years after the proportion of older caller.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,918 4798  
Nov 27, 2023   #2
You have tried to go a good job on presenting the information in an analytical way. However, the way that you render your explanation in English is the main problem that hinders the understandability of this presentation. It is not easy to understand what you are saying because your sentence structure and word usage are all wrong. It is almost as if you are translating your thoughts from Vietnamese to English, word for word. It is when you do transliteration that your essay fails to make sense. A clear sentence structure in your language, if translated word for word, becomes incoherent in English. When the English reader cannot understand what you are saying, then you will fail the test.

Home / Writing Feedback / The chart below shows the numbers of three types of visitors to a museum between 1997 and 2012.
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