Hi everyone, I really need some corrections, if it possible, could you please help me? Thanks a lot!
Based on the previous question, what do you think XX's business will be like in the next ten years? How will you build your career in the process? Please answer both questions and be as specific as possible.
As the previous answer says, XX's products are changing people's life, XX's physical stores builds a comfortable environment for customers to shop. Although the are a many obstacles such as China's knockoff. I think XX will maintain its attitude, keep exploiting more designs, and open more locations in more countries.
XX's physical stores are one of its feature, meanwhile it is easy to see that more and more retails are focusing on online sales such as Amazon. It is well known that people choose online shopping for many reasons. Some think online shopping saves their time and are more cheaper, they can also view other customers' opinions and compare the similar goods. But physical stores also have advantages, for instance, people can try on clothes and households, there must be more. So I think XX will integrate the advantages of both. For example, though the technology called VR, customers can have an experience of goods at home, they can also stand in the store and see how the furniture and household will be in their house.
Since the advanced technology is making the world change more rapidly, I think that XX will bring more electronic devices that are convenient to use and can refresh people recognition. Many excellent things have refreshed people's recognition, for example the smart phones. their appearances are quiet different from people's imagination. They change people's customs not cater customers needs, so I think XX will keep focusing on creation. Besides, XX has a wide range of products, from households to food. In the foreseeable future, XX may exploit more areas and service. For example, since the aging population is growing, more quality products may be designed to meet their needs. Meanwhile XX's policy is living a simply life, and many people still like to use natural and simply goods. For example many people still like drawing on papers not rather than on the digital tablets. Therefore I believe XX will keep its attitude, as well as bring more innovative products and service.
Also, I think XX will open more locations as many countries have a large market such as India. People in different countries have different taste and preference, so I think XX will absorb various culture and use more methods to display its characteristic for the people there.
Thank you for reading this.
We do not have the previous question, so it may be difficult.
... products are changing people's life lives, XX's physical stores builds build a comfortable ...
Although the are a many obstacles such as China's knockoff [what is this]. , I think XX will maintain its attitude, keep exploiting exploit more designs, and open more locations in more countries.
That's just the first paragraph. Will continue later.
Thank you for your correction! I just happen to see your article. I want to use a word to describe the cheaper copies and profile in China such as fake LV, fake LEGO, but I don't know a word like that so I use "knockoff".
Hi Yunyi, first of all WELCOME to the Essay Forum family, I know that you have been with us for a while,however, this is my first review of your essay and I hope this will improve your revision. Now, first things first, as this is a progressive essay, meaning it has an essay before it, it will help, if you have a background or a couple of sentences in order to create that connection of ideas.
Having said that, I believe the word "knockoff" is fine to use in describing fake goods, however, you can use other synonyms such as imitation or copy, in cases like this, you can always look up and search for the synonyms of the word in order to have a few options in getting your idea and making sure that you have the right word to complete the sentences.
Furthermore, I have a few suggestions for the concluding part of the essay.
- Also, I think XX will open more stores in different locations, as many countries havepose a large market such as India.
..., so I think XX will absorbbe able to cater to various culture (...) to display its characteristicproducts to otherfor the people there .
There you have it Yunyi, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision.
Thank your for your corrections! May I ask why do you vary "have" with "pose"? I don't know how to use "pose a market" in a sentence. Thanks again.
Hi Yunyi, thanks for your feedback and for appreciating what we do here on EF, well, I changed "have" to "pose" as I believe this is more appropriate to your sentence.
To elaborate this further, "pose a larger market", means that the market is seen as large and with great potential to become a big business. Having said that, this should be a good addition to your essay. Remember, this essay is very futuristic, therefore, the progress and forecast of the business and its potential is very vital to the overall outcome of your writing project.
There you have it Yunyi, I hope this additional insights help in your revision and you know what else will improve your writing capabilities, read whenever you can as this will help you discover words that you haven't encountered before and you can use this in your future writing projects.
