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A belief that a country's national budget ought to be used to develop railways rather than roads



ongong 1 / 3  
Aug 28, 2021   #1
CAM 11 TEST 1 WRITING TASK 2

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads



To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

There is a belief that a country's national budget ought to be used to develop railways rather than roads. In my opinion, I completely with this view due to the fact that railways can bring significant positive effects to both the environment and people's lives.

Initially, an obvious advantage for the environment can be the deduction in air pollution. Personal vehicles are, by no means, the major cause of greenhouse gas emissions in many countries and people tend to use them extensively because of their conveniences. And if the government invest more money in railways and make the train the only viable option for some particular journeys, more people will take the train and use fewer cars. In other words, a significant amount of carbon dioxide and other toxic substances is removed. This will slow the global warming process and benefit the ecosystem directly.

At the same time, the promotion of railways is also beneficial to citizens in various ways. Firstly, when there are good railway systems owing to governments' investment, people will no longer have to suffer from long waiting times in a traffic jam. Taking Bangkok as an example, after its sky train was built, traffic congestion has been reduced considerably since their city dwellers travel by train instead of car. Secondly, the problem of accidents could also be mitigated when fewer people drive on the road, so many lives are saved. And finally, people can save a considerable amount of money as the cost for public transport is much cheaper than the fuel cost of cars. They can also reduce much spending by commuting to work from the outskirts where the accommodation fee is far more reasonable than it is in the city centre.

In conclusion, in order to tackle the environmental problem and improve people's lives, governments should consider putting more emphasis on railways and less on roads.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Aug 29, 2021   #2
The writer shows a great familiarity with the topic provided. His insight is based on a personal experience, which falls directly under the discussion requirements. The examples and reasoning are well developed. The presentation is actually strong and will merit a higher than average passing score. There is however, a GRA problem that will force the lowering of an otherwise high score. There are 2 sentences that begin with a conjunction. A conjunction functions as connectors between words, phrases, clauses, or sentences. For the sentence aspect, "and" is used mid-sentence to connect 2 related thoughts. In this case, "And" was used at the start of a sentence, there is no thought process to connect at that point so the conjunction should not be used. Further familiarization with conjunctions and other connecting words, and how to use these properly in a sentence is necessary.
OP ongong 1 / 3  
Aug 30, 2021   #3
@Holt
Thanks so much for your great help! Please could you advise which band score this essay can receive in Ielts please?


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