Unanswered [2]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS Task II : Do you believe studying hard will bring better life, Agree disagree



SHanafi 120 / 357  
Feb 17, 2014   #1
Does good exam result at a school or college do guarantee success in life? Discuss the advantages that a good education can have on your future. Do you believe that studying hard will bring a better life?

----------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------

The outcome of tough study process is related to the economic prosperity. However, this view leads people to think that outweigh of good education is the way to hold better life. While it is true I believe that bright future is not only caused by hard study process.

Firstly, in the 21st century high standard in exam result is the common parameter for enrolled first-class schools. We can see schools with good reputation take high requirements for new candidates such as highly mark in previous school or recommendation from credible person. It is understandable because good schools is viewed can deliver success for their student.

Furthermore, good schools are related to student's bright future. Also, this can be true because they provided several aspects to encourage student ability including proficient lecture, curriculum, facilities and character buildings lesson. On the other hand, inequality schools usually stay behind the good one and we can imply that inequality schools students commonly have less ability rather than first-rate school students. For example, announcement of math competition usually netted qualify school rather than school in the bordered. The purpose of this act is to make competition more prestigious because the organizer already knows qualification of students. From this case we can imply that students in good schools have more chance to develop their self in order to reach success instead of bordered schools.

Nevertheless, although studying hard is related to the better life it is might consider taking soft skill improvement onto person success path. We can see several success stories begin when the actors can improve their social skills on well set. For example, success story of Tom Cruise, Hollywood actor with dyslexia. Dyslexian see the written seem moving like dancing so they cannot read. Although iterate Tom proves his social skill allow him become success.

In conclusion, I believe good result exam make easier path for student convey their bright future, but this is not the only way to dealt with this. Moreover, outside school mark student as human being should build soft skill to support their success in society.

Pahan 1 / 1824  
Feb 17, 2014   #2
The outcome of tough study process is related to theeconomic prosperity.

.... hey, "economic prosperity" is quite a technical jargon meaning that everybody has a job or that everybody's well off. It is not an appropriate usage for a simple personal task like studying :( you can talk about economic prosperity of a country, but not a house or a person.

The outcome of tough study process is related to the economic prosperity. However, this view leads people to think that outweigh of good education is the way to hold better life.

Both these sentences fail to provide the reader with a clear meaning :( You need to fix this problem soon as this is going to put you in deep trouble. Try to express your ideas in a more simple way with simple, yet interesting words.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task II : Do you believe studying hard will bring better life, Agree disagree
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳