Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


IElTS: benefits and drawbacks of urbanization; urbanization is a phenomenon



y0_3mma 19 / 28  
Dec 24, 2012   #1
Many people leave the countryside for the greater opportunities which are offered by cities. This move is not without disadvantages for both people and the environment. What are some benefits and drawbacks of urbanization?

Over the past few years, the rate at which the urban proportion increases has almost doubled. More and more rural inhabitants decide to move to urban areas for a better living, such as economic improvements, a more comfortable life and well-paid jobs. However, urbanization has its drawbacks, the main disadvantage being the pollution. 53

The main benefit of rural residents moving to cities is that they have access to a much more enjoyable life. There is no question that people who live in urban areas benefit from many facilities, such as access to education, healthcare, social services and cultural activities. For instance, a farmer's life is quite simple having not many leisure activities to do apart from talking to his family or other farmers. On the other side, a businessman feels like not having enough time for his numerous hobbies (these could be going shopping, hiking, attending dance classes or playing sport). Due to the increased number of citizen, social life 98

In contrast, it must be admitted that globalization has its big drawback: pollution. As more and more people leave villages and farms to live in cities, the number of factories and automobiles is also increasing. This leads to massive emissions of harmful gases and smoke from factories and personal vehicles. As recent studies show, two in tree people are more likely to suffer from allergies and respiratory problems due to the polluted air that covers the city. Natural habitats of flora and fauna and a lot of forested areas are also destructed, because new residential areas need to be constructed for the increasing number of urban inhabitants.107

In conclusion, urbanization is certainly a phenomenon which is often debated in today's world. Hardly a day goes by without at least one family deciding to move from countryside to city due to undeveloped financial and social facilities. However, even if people's lives are more comfortable, the price they have to pay comes with the increasing pollution that affects their health and happiness. 63

christyzhongs 7 / 21  
Dec 24, 2012   #2
Hi, Good essay with clear structure. I am also new here, try my best to give you some suggestions.

There is no question that people who live in urban areas benefit from many facilities, such as access to education, healthcare, social services and cultural activities

It is no doubt that/ It is true that people who live in urban areas are benefit from many facilities, such as access tobetter educations, healthcares, social services and cultural activities

in your conclusion, you would better response to the question "What are some benefits and drawbacks of urbanization?"I feel you only talk about the drawbacks.

"
dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 27, 2012   #3
urban proportion increases
skynet0512 2 / 5  
Dec 27, 2012   #4
Hi, I'm not sure about the credibility of your first sentence saying that "...has almost doubled". I don't think such information is exact and trustful.

urban proportion

urban population ..

urbanization has its drawbacks, the main disadvantage being the pollution.

urbanization results in negative impacts with the main one being air pollution
alphy 3 / 10  
Dec 27, 2012   #5
hai,
your example inthe first para is disadvantage of countryside ,but the question asked about the urban life .
dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 28, 2012   #6
...move from countryside to the city due to undeveloped financial and social facilitieslooking for more opportunities for life.

However, even if people's lives are more comfortable, the price they have to pay comes with the increasing pollution that affects their health and happiness.

However, even if there would be improvements in quality of life by moving to the cities, the people need to pay a big price in terms of environmental and mental factors.


Home / Writing Feedback / IElTS: benefits and drawbacks of urbanization; urbanization is a phenomenon
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳