Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Sat essay: is it best not to change our ideas, opinions, or behaviours?



kimuratakuya 10 / 32  
May 17, 2012   #1
We all find difficuly making choices, especially when our ideas conflict with those of others. When shopping online, I often hestitate for a long time if what I would like to buy receives negative remark from other customers. However, sometimes we are more likely to make right decisions if we stick to our own ideas. From US history, one can see how this statement proves to be true.

Willia Loyld Garrison, the editor of 'the liberator' , never abandoned his determination as an abotionlist. Before civil war, citizens in all part of the country regard African Americans as animals and treat them as such. However, William held a totally different view that African Americans were no inferior than Whites. He published an influential anti-slave newpaper, the liberator, in which he demanded immediate emancipation of all slaves without any compensation to their owners. However, because his ideas were not popular, especially in south, Garrison was not received well. During his lifetime, Garrison received more than ten death-threat-letters and one of his abolitionist frinds were murdered by southern extremits. Despite such difficulty, Garrison refused to desert his belief and continue publicizing egalitarian beliefs. Finally, Garrison's insistence paid off that, after the controversial case of Dred v Scott, many northernors used claims in 'the liberator' as weapons against southern slaveholders. Thus, we can say that it is wise for Garrison to preserve his original idea.

Similarily, Ford Frick, president of National Baseball League in 1945-1953, made a right choice through insitence on his own thought. In 1947, Brooklin Dogers offered Jackie Ronins a contract, first African American signed by League teams. Himself an egalitarian, Ford Frick spoke in favour of Doger's decision in public, Unexpectedly, his response provoked a potential crisis. 1\3 of the players in League threatened that they would strike if Robinson was admitted to League. However, the threat failed to daunt Ford to give up his position. One month later, Ford approve Robinson's contract formally and expresed his opinion with a powerful speech stting that, 'everyone in America has the right to work as other citizens. Wharever the consequence, League will go with Robinson.' Inspired by Jackson's admission and Ford's speech, more and more distinuished Negro players attended the League and audience began to accept racial integration in sports fields. Thus, from Ford's case, we can see the necessity of persisting initial oppinions.

On many occasions l, sensible decisions derive fron insistence on own ideas. For one's own idea to produce good results, one must deem his or her idea as true. In the examples above, both Ford and Garrison believed their egalitarian views as morally justified. Thus, we can conclude that it is best for people not to change their opinions they believe as right.

basawang 10 / 73  
May 18, 2012   #2
Hi,

I am not an expert of SAT. As a reader, I just have some ideas.

However, sometimes we are more likely to make right decisions if we stick to our own ideas.

This sentence, quoted from the first paragraph, is your main idea.
Your main idea is fine. I believe many would agree with you. However, you did not give any reasons why you advocate this statement in your essay.

Indeed, you gave two examples, which are Garrison's and Ford's deeds. They are great men, making great decisions. But these examples are not reasons. In my opinion, examples support reasons. Lacking of reasons, your essay is not persuasive enough even with two good examples.

I suggest you should provide some reasons, such as...

Reason 1: After meticulous consideration, one should feel confident of his or her decisions. Because no one can know the situation better than he or she does.

Reason 2: To succeed, people should be persistent in the path they choose.

Then you can offer some examples to buttress reason 1 and 2.

I am not a good writer, so my reasons may be bad. However, my point is you should develop reasons before talking about your examples.

Because you did not use reasons to develop your main idea, your argument is unfounded.

In the examples above, both Ford and Garrison believed their egalitarian views as morally justified. Thus, we can conclude that it is best for people not to change their opinions they believe as right.

These are your ending sentences. Because of Ford's and Garrison's success, people should not change their minds when they think they are correct? How could this be true? For example, Hitler believed what he did were 100% correct. Unfortunately, we all know what happened.

Best regards,
tanvi3595 3 / 8  
May 24, 2012   #3
hey,u can as u had earlier done put alternative theory about "changing your opinion"...as a 3rd paragraph.When you do that you show insight in your matter as you have discussed all the perspectives and not just stuck to one side for the heck of writing....and hitler's example would be a perfect one...you can present it this way:-

Hitler adhered to his principles.Had he not done so, history wouldn't have witnessed the Fall Of Germany.In some contexts we need to show flexibility in our state of mind.It can be justified if it is association with the common good of the people ,which in Hitler's case it wasn't.

My point is -It is okay to have a two sided opinion if you are able to express it well and be able to return to it after you finish with your examples.Its shows insight.


Home / Writing Feedback / Sat essay: is it best not to change our ideas, opinions, or behaviours?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳