Unanswered [27] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


Is It Better to Change Job Than to Do The Same Job?


Stacy Handayani 29 / 16 19  
Apr 20, 2015   #1
Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Changing job is a common trend in today's life as some people argue that it is a better way for people to get a new experiences and to get a better income. However, others claim that doing the same job during their lifetime is more comfortable than adapting to new atmosphere. Nevertheless, I would argue that changing job is the best choice for people so as to run out from boredoms.

...
EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Apr 21, 2015   #2
Dear Stacy,

I think you presented both sides of the argument well, and then gave your opinion nicely. You need to watch out for run-on sentences. Cut them into two shorter sentences, each with a subject and verb. Also you need to watch your selection of articles. Sometimes the article is unnecessary, too!

When deciding whether to change jobs, what else do you think, people think of? Perhaps you could come up with one more paragraph with another idea in favor of changing: for example moving to a new city or state teaches you about the world of a different culture. This can help you to mature, and that can only help you, on the job. Maybe you can think of another idea?

I think you really focused on the topic of boredom, very well. You contrasted that with stress. Is this perhaps too cut-and-dry? Maybe you should present a little more balance by saying that there is no consequence to being bored, but that you personally feel uncomfortable, and like to be challenged.

I broke up some of your sentences, with more punctuation, and a lot of commas. You need to give the reader a chance to breath, or pause, while reading.

I think you answered the question, and with a little work, the essay will be fine.

Good job!

ef_carol
Bung Jawa - / 2  
Apr 23, 2015   #3
Dear Stacy Ayu Handayani

Your idea is unique and simple, but I just want to suggest you not to repeat the same word such word "get" in your introduction, it would be better if you use obtain. For instance, to obtain a better income
humangun 2 / 2 1  
Apr 23, 2015   #4
Changing job is a common trend in today's life as .some people argue that it is a better way for people to get a new experiences and to get a better income. However, others claim that doing the same job during their lifetime is more comfortable than adapting [themselves ]to new [working] atmosphere. Nevertheless, I would argue that changing job is the best choice for people so as to run out from boredom.

Doing the same job sometimes makes people feel bored;[most of the people want to get a higher income that their present job cannot offer even they have worked for the company in such a long time] want a higher payment as they already work for long time in this job. Therefore, some people believe that changing job is a viable solution for these problems. Firstly, by changing job, people may get new experiences such as new friends, new atmosphere, and new life. These experiences may create challenge that can make people enjoy doing their jobs and do not feel bored. The second is [that] they may have a better income. By taking a chance to get a new job, people possibly earn a higher amount of money as they enjoy working in new environment and it causes them to work productively.

In contrast, some people argue that changing job can bring difficulties to people [themselves] since they have to adapt in new environment. For example, most people move to other jobs [another] to experience new environment and to earn much [more] money. However, they forget about adaptation process [workplace-adapting process] they may face. As a result, they are not ready to deal with high-pressured work [job] and then [this] cause them to feel more stressful. Therefore, changing job can disadvantage people in line of the [workplace-adapting process].

To conclude, even changing job can cause people more stressfull in the adaptation process, I believe that the benefits of this trend outshine the disadvantage since people may experience the difficulties of changing job only in a short time. Therefore, it is imperative for people to change their job to escape from their boredoms in previous place.

Hello Stacy H,

I have an excellent idea. I believe that you will be able to chalk any test up easily .However, there are a few grammar mistakes needed to be improved; I already wrote in red.

Cheers

JohnC


Home / Writing Feedback / Is It Better to Change Job Than to Do The Same Job?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳