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It is better to put an entrance fee for museums

just_writer 24 / 42 5  
Oct 27, 2017   #1
Many museums charge for admission while others are free.
Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

free or paid entry to museums

While there are a lot of people who think everyone should pay an entrance fee if they want to see a museum, others disagree. I think it is better to put an entrance fee for museums and going to explain why in following paragraphs.

On one hand, the museums normally need lots of special maintaining because of how delicate the objects are, obviously this cost a lot of money. If people do not pay the fee, museums will have a hard time to prepare the best situation. For example, we had a big museum in our country which is free, they asked the government for financial support but they declined. After sometimes the museum closed. Recently a bunch of priceless artworks was found in the basement of that building which was ruined.

On the other hand, the museums always have a lot of priceless stuff and it is important to guard them correctly. If exhibition stays free and open to the public, it will increase the chance that someone hurts the artworks or tries to steal something. In addition, the museums will be so crowded that no one could put time and learn anything. For instance, there is a free museum in my city. It is the first destination for schools and because of that, the place is always full of people. It led to that, neither students nor visitors enjoy their time.

In conclusion, while some people believe that museums should be free, I disagree and tried to explain my reasons in this essay. The first reason is that museums actually need money to survive and also protect objects. And the second one is that it will filter the people so that who really wants to learn something pays the money and spend his/her time there.

(298 Words)
LadyOfClockwork 30 / 102  
Oct 27, 2017   #2
Hi. I think you did not give a good paraphrase to the prompt.
Here is my try:

Many museums charge...
=> Many museums require a price for entering though others do not.
asmaasalem 3 / 13 4  
Oct 28, 2017   #3
Dear just_writer

I think it's better to outline your causes in the intro, to have the reader concentrate.

e.g., I think it is better to put an entrance fee for museums due to coverage of its expenditures/financial commitments and prevention of the crowd.
Arlen 20 / 40 3  
Oct 28, 2017   #4

I think you can change the way when paragraphing, instead of using "on one hand" and "on the other hand", I think there are many better ways to make the paragraphs nicer. For me, I prefer to use "firstly" and "secondly", of course, you have to point out clearly that what is first and second if you dont mention that in the introduction. Like "First reason I think museum should charge is.... "

For your reference, hope it helps!

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