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"The biggest risk is not taking any risk." - TOEFL

Carolst 2 / 3 1  
Oct 21, 2014   #1
Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

"The biggest risk is not taking any risk." The ones who have a big dream, they need to be brave and dare to live new situations. It is not guaranteed that you are going to achieve your dream if you had planned carefully as the same way when you take risks, but it is more frustrating if you had made plans and then it went wrong. Therefore, it is essential to take chances and believe this is going to work out.

Assuming new opportunities is indispensable to have diverse experiences. In fact, life may not be easy; it will have various challenges especially when you take risks, but in the end, it can be surprisingly wonderful. For instance, some people abandon their job, family and friends and go to other country without knowing what the future holds for them. In the beginning, it can be tough to fit in this new place and find any opportunity, but after fighting against the obstacles blocking the way to get what is desired; it is possible to conquer what they are craving as well as start to build a new life in this other country.

In fact, many people are afraid to take risks and fail. It is possible to get frustrate along the way, but it is vital to never give up on your dream. To illustrate, Walt Disney, whose career is famous, had a challenging life. One of the difficulties was some of his histories, such as Mickey Mouse and Three Little Pigs, were turned down. He heard lots of "no", furthermore one editor fired him alleging that he had no imagination, after all what he had gone through, he never stop chasing his dreams.

To conclude, in this competitive world you have to be fearless and face all new situations. Even though sometimes you consider backing down and stay in the same routine that you are used to, it is necessary to have courage to take risks, be different and pursue your dream to have a successful life.

Thanks in advance for comments. I'd appreciate some grammar corrections.
restinpizza 7 / 15  
Oct 21, 2014   #2
There are some grammatical errors but that is easy to fix! Do not worry about those. However, in the last paragraph, I recommend you do not transition using "to conclude." Just simply start your sentence. Also, the first sentence of your second paragraph is confusing. Maybe you meant to say something besides "indispensable." You should probably change that. Other than that, I like it! Good Luck!
alberic - / 10 1  
Nov 16, 2014   #3
"The biggest risk is not taking any risk." I like this quote. Add it if is possible for the upcoming essays. Too many transitions such as in fact, you should have used in actuality, in reality to prevent those repeats. When it comes to the second body paragraph you could have developed a little bit more with the same idea. In other words, try to prolong your second body paragraph.

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