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Bill Gates believes, that there are not problems in this world, that cannot be solved


ALMAJID06 4 / 10  
Sep 15, 2016   #1
Summary of TED video, is the title "Malaria and Education"

In that video bill gates explain two problems about disease, caused by mosquito and education. These need the role of stakeholder like government, scientist, thinkers, communicators to do right thing for this problem. There Are not problems, cannot be solved that he believe, optimism that all of stakeholder should pay attention to serious problem.

We can see the case which has happened in past time that several people die because of disease which is spread by mosquito.These can be cured whoever, get such disease malaria by good treating like consuming quinine or quinine derivatives. Hence, the rate of death can be decrease where those can bring out good effect. Besides, we need also good education which recently experienced slightly bad, exactly in its human resource development.

The role of teacher is more important to complete education of own purpose so that those claimed to work professionally. The Good education will support the country which has it. It is not only those which make education better but also we need the other factor to support it like financial, facilities, high quality teacher and stakeholder, want hard work to cause vision and mission can be reached. Finally, we need solid cooperation to finish everything, is useful for education.

Hujjatul19 45 / 70 3  
Sep 15, 2016   #2
Hi almajid. It's nice to read your writing. Here is some advices for you

video bill gates [Bill Gates' video] explain two problems[;] about disease, [no need comma] caused by ...

There Are not problems, [no need comma] [that] cannot be solved that he believe, ť it's more enjoyable to be read if [there are no problems that cannot be solved is what he believes]

optimism [is what all of stakeholders] that all of stakeholder should ...

... which has happened in [the] past time that several people die[d] because of ...

Hope it could help you imoroving your writing skill. Best regard
andika08 81 / 80 16  
Sep 16, 2016   #3
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

We can see the case which has happened in (...) because of disease which is spread by mosquito.
Hence Because of that, the rate of ...

... cooperation to finish everything, is it will be useful for education.

In sentence one you using which twice maybe you can use another conjuction.


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