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The birth of computer and its fast paced development could influence our lives in different ways.


ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Feb 14, 2015   #1
Topic: Some people believe that computers help to make the world a better place. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion

The birth of computer and its fast paced development through last few decades could profoundly influence our lives in different ways. The positive effects of computer on different industries and education have made even the most pessimistic people to confess that the advent of computer has made the world a more liveable place. I also believe that computers are powerful tools helping countries to thrive socially, educationally and industrially.

Of outmost importance, the invention of computer and the Internet, as one of the most commonly used computer's functions, have completely changed the communication model of the modern men. Today, we can send a letter to any part of the world in a second thanks to emailing systems, such as gmail and yahoomail. Social networks like Facebook and Tweeter have provided people with the advantage of being in connection with individuals all around the world. For example, Facebook is the best and cheapest way for me, as an international student in Australia, to be in touch with my family in Iran. Such privileges would not be obtained without computers.

Education is the other area immensely ameliorated by computers. Owing to strong search engines like Google any students have access to loads of information and documents online. There are many tutorials, text books and E-papers about a wide range of topics, from biology to mathematics, which are mostly available free of charge. Moreover, software products like MS office word or Latex have enabled us to type our documents or school projects in a decent and nice electronic format. This model of documenting also helps us to share E-files with individuals worldwide, contributing to information distribution.

Computers can also be viewed as the most influential elements on the enhancement of technology and, thus, industries. Many engineering software products such as Solidworks, Matlab, AutoCAD, and the like are extensively employed in design, so we can undoubtedly say that without computers none of the modern flying metal objects and automobiles could be manufactured.

In the light of the aforementioned facts, one can easily conclude that computers rule today's world and steer it toward more advanced place for living.

fadlanmuzakki 15 / 49 36  
Feb 15, 2015   #2
Hi Ahmad Zafari,
allow me to comments and give you suggestions as to your writing.

The birth of computer

effects of computer on different industries

the invention of computer and the Internet

the birth of a computer of computers. ( I think that you should give an article/determiner in "computer". In addition, you should make it plural)

such as gmail and yahoomail

it should be Gmail and Yahoomail

Owing to strong search engines like Google any students have access to loads of information and documents online

I guess that you forgot to put coma in such a sentence.

This model of documenting also helps us to share E-files with individuals worldwide, contributing to information distribution.

could you rewrite this sentence? I am afraid that such a sentence is not easy to follow.

the enhancement of technology and, thus, industries

I have checked in my dictionary more than twice how to use "thus" in a sentence, I just know that if we want to use "and thus" we should put Subject and Verb afterward or we probably can put to invinitive. could you explain as to such a sentence?

In the light of the aforementioned facts, one can easily conclude that computers rule today's world and steer it toward more advanced place for living.

your conclusion is too short, I suggest you to put general topic, commonly known as hook, or give a fear, or a recomendation/suggestion. I believe that your writing will much more interested to read by adding a closing hook.

I hope you also want to comment my essay. thank you :)

KEEP SPIRIT, KEEP STUDY.
Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Feb 15, 2015   #3
Many engineering software products such as Solidworks, Matlab, AutoCAD, and the like are extensively employed in design, so we can undoubtedly say that without computers none of the modern flying metal objects and automobiles could be manufactured.

This sentence is quite lengthy! You should have decoupled it!
The positive effects of computer on different industries and education have made even the most pessimistic people to confess that the advent of computer has made the world a more liveable place. Its benefits have even made the skeptics to confess that they were erroneous.

Therefore, I also believe that computers are powerful tools helping countries to thrive socially, educationally and industrially.
tantadedanaan 6 / 11 11  
Feb 15, 2015   #4
Hi there!

This type of question is "To what extent do you agree or disagree" which is part of the writing task 2 in IELTS exam. In this kind of question, you are asking on what extent do you like or not like the idea. Are you wholeheartedly agree or partially? I had seen that you forgot to mention the extent of your stand on introduction and conclusion too which is very important in this sub test. Above all your arguments are great :)


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