IELTS Book 10 Test 3 Task 1 - Charts about the destination of UK graduates and postgraduates in 2008

Destination of uk graduates in 2008

The bar charts give information about destination of UK graduates and postgraduates ( excluding full- time work) in 2008.

It is noticeable that the major path that UK graduates and postgraduates chose was to further their study. While the number of students involving in voluntary work was the least among graduates and postgraduates in 2008.

For UK gradustes, the major career path after their graduation was furthering their study, this accounted for nearly 30000 students. The number of students decided to have part-time work and unemployment were about the half of the students in further study, which were around 17000 and 16000 respectively. However, for voluntary work, only approximately 3500 university students had involved in, this was a one in tenth of the number of students in further study.

Looking at the UK postgraduates bar chart, we can also see that a majority of students determined to continue their study, the number of them were around 2700. With the number of postgraduates having no jobs was about the half of students who extended their study, UK postgraduates having a part-time job was 200 less than students kept studying. Finally, only 345 students engaged in vlountary work, the least among all.

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Hi, to my knowlegde I have a few tips for you. You should replace with synonyms to avoid word repetition:
- In 2008 = In the year 2008
- Number of = Figures for

You did not outline the sectors being measured in the graphs within the summary overview. These sectors will help the reader create a mental picture of what it is that you are going to be reporting. Always provide a complete run-down of all the information provided. It helps deliver the idea that you have appropriately reviewed the image provided.

Always provide the trending statement as a part of the summary overview so that you can present a completely formatted (3-5 sentence) paragraph for the examiner's consideration. While the trending statement may be placed anywhere within the essay, it is most effective as a grading booster if it is placed within the first paragraph as that is the part of the report that allows the reader to have a summarized presentation of the overall report. It also helps you properly format the paper within the 3 paragraph requirement of the Task 1 essay.

Make it a habit to always review your work for possible errors prior to your submitting the paper. Always look out for spelling and grammar errors.

Spelling:
gradustes - graduates
vlountary - voluntary

Such simple spelling errors will result in point deductions under the LR scoring section.

You should also work on showing a proper range of grammatical expertise by using proper punctuation marks within the essay:
- 17000 and 16000, respectively