TOEFL; Your boss needs to know your strengths for you to succeed; Do you agree?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement
Making sure that people such as the manger or your surpervior kown your strength and accomplishment can help you successd .Otherwise you cannot achieve anything.

I am not approved of the following statement which is acclaimed that to make sure the relevant person (better high levels) knows your ablity is the only path to access the success.I will mainly give two evidences which can support my position.

The acknowledge is well known unfortunately but as a brutal truth -every successd guy is talented ,but not every talented guy can success.There is no denying that aquired attentions of people who has already successed in a certain field is better to help us throw ourselves into the role that we have already practised for many times.It probably adds the proportion of success to a young man who has no special background but talented. However, this method also brings some negtive sides to the young men who have been exceeded expectted by their governor, in order to that they may burden a gaint pressure and lose their original creativities.

Firstly, those young people will undertake the gaint pressure from the governor who has already found their excellent capacity including the strength or the accomplishment they revealed.At the beginning ,they will be encouraged by those appreciations and expect themselves to achieve a futher magnificent goal.But as time goes by, the lightness of a beginer was replaced by heaviness of being successful.Finally, a little jeer will strike them down and lose their self-confidence to move on.

Apart from that, their ceations will be trapped by the fames.If someone is overwhelming in a certain field, he may be at a top of his career, he always look at everything as standing in the top of moutain and looking forward, which apparently there is no more progresses in his career.Steve Jobs ,the ackownledged genius, once said,"When I looked backwards,getting fired from Apple was the best things that could have ever happened to me while I felt nothing but frustrating through the course.I became a beginner again ,less pressure about everything.It freeed me to entre one of the most creative period of my life.I am already naked ,there is no reason to follow my heart." From these two reasons we dicussed above, I think making sure the people know your capacity in order that to get some extra help is not the only way to access success.

Well .... this sentence has several issues such as grammar, inappropriate vocabulary, presentation etc. I suggest you to write simple and short sentences that help you improve clarity of your sentences. Do not use key words and synonyms if you are not very sure. The reason is that they may give very different meanings and sound inappropriate. By reading others essays may be a good start for you. There are plenty of essays you find in this forum.

dumi
well,thank you so much , last time I follow you recommend and write a new essay in simple sentences and simple words.It will be listed as following, how about you think, please give me some advice ,thank you so so much!

The place you choose to live has a greater effect on you overall hapiness than you job does .

Today ,more and more people choose a place to live in relation to a lot of conditions.Generally , most of people considerate the first condition is the distance between the workplace and residence . Apart from that ,others believe the most important condition is depended on the happiness of their lives. I really agree with the latter view ,the reasons would be stated as the followings.

Admittedly , there is a certain advantage of living nearby. If not, it costs a lot of time to drive on the road. For example , if I lived far from my workplace, I would get up early with sleepy eyes and perhaps bear heavy rain in the summer and severe cold temperatures in the dawn of winter . But if I lived nearby, I can get up until ten minutes on the working deadline and walk to my office with eating a sandwich or hambuger.Of course ,it is not my actual working attitude but just giving an extreme example to demonstrate the point as the advantage of living nearby.Besides that, we may have breakfast with our family members sometimes and even have time to bid them before we have to work.

Although it has perfect excuses to live near the workplace,a few people choose that indeed.But why? In my opinion , firstly , job is just a part in our lives but not the whole.We take more considerations on the other sides,such as our health or our family members'hapiness. A place fits to work maybe not a place fits to live.Let us take an example , the place we worked may sit in a big cities where have severe pollutions in the air and lack of clean water.In order to get a better living environment ,we may choose to be settled in the suburban or rural areas although it gets a long distant from the workplace.

In another side,we must admit the life in a serious of variations, and we expect to get what we want. Maybe there is a job of which we were fond but it has some disadvantages including it is located outside our hometown. Would you give up this job for the excuse "oh, it is far from my home." The answer is "NO ,we won't." Obviously,we will choose work we loved and follow our own dreams.

For the two reasons dicussed above , I will choose to live a place with the overall hapiness than the job affects.
best wishes for you! little kid986

Hey.... you need to open a fresh thread for this essay. You cannot use the same thread for different essays as per the forum rules. So please re-post this essay on a new thread and I will provide you with my comments for it. This essay would soon be removed from this thread.

Sorry, i did not notice that .I am innocent cause this time is the first experience as I used forum. By the way, I 've posted a new thread already.

There is no denying that aquired attentions of people who has already successed in a certain field is better to help us throw ourselves into the role that we have already practised for many times

-> No one can deny the importance of acquiring attentions of succeed people in a certain fields is a better way to help us throw ourselves into our routine roles.