WRITING TASK 1: how bottled and canned gas drink are produced

THE DIAGRAM OF BOTTLED AND CANNED CARBONATE DRINK

A glance at the given diagrams shows how bottled and canned gas drink are produced. Overall, it is patently obvious that there are six stages in this process, starting with filtering the water and ending with the distribution of carbonated drinks to the supermarket.

At the first step of the process, after the water is collected, it will go through a filter to eliminate germs or unhealthy things. The next step begins when the water goes through the heating and cooling pipe, the temperature of the water will be adjusted to a suitable level. After that, the water is carbonated in the third step and for the fourth step, the sterilized water is combined with the syrup mixture. Besides, color is also added in this stage. Then, the drinks are packed in either cans or bottles. In the final stage, the completed products are transported to supermarkets and are ready to be consumed.

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As a Task 1 essay, this report should be composed of 3 paragraphs. Each set of procedural instructions should be grouped into 2. The paragraphs are composed of:

- Summary overview + Trending statement
- First half of the procedure
- Second half of the procedure

So your presentation should have cut off after a proper discussion of the first 2 steps. That will comprise the 2nd paragraph, with steps 3 and 4 depicting the final stage and 3rd paragraph. Each paragraph should be between 3-5 sentences. You only have 2 sentences in the summary overview. That means, you did not write more than the required minimum word requirements.

Scoring better in this test will depend upon how well you write between 175-190 words. 152 rods completes the report but, as you can see, makes you fall short of the formatting requirements. You need to add more analysis to the presentation. This report is just straightforward, sans any analysis which is still required in a procedural report. One or two analytical representations in sentence form should have worked. One per paragraph would have been ideal.

This is my first time trying to write a diagram description essay so I find it quite hard. Anyway, thank you so much for your suggestions and I will rewrite this one in order to improve it.