Unanswered [19] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

A breakdown of employment labour from different genders based on the kinds of job in Britain 2005


fardan10 18 / 25 1  
Apr 3, 2016   #1
This isi my writing, please give me suggestion in order to boost my writing skill:

A break down of employment labour from different genders based on the kinds of job in Great Britain in 2005 is illustrated by chart and counted in percentages. Overall, the highest rate in men workers was placed by the Skilled trades, while the administration and secreatarial job was the top percentage in women occupation.

Regarding to the chart, it was noticeable that the skilled trades was the first rank in men labour at a fifth. There was an equal percentage in men occupation as many as aproximately 13 percent between the Elementary and the Process, Plant, and Machinary sector. Whereas, at the lowest level was the Personal Services at a very small number.

By contrast, women was the most popular in administrators and secretary at more than 20 percent and recorded as the highest entirely. While the Managers and the Professional stood at the mid-level where were of similar proportion at more than 10 percent. However, the Elemenatary job experienced almost similar percentage both of genders at more than 10 percent. Interestingly, there was a very large gap both male and female in the skilled trade occupation and the personal service.




nelarizka79 16 / 21 1  
Apr 3, 2016   #2
A break down of employment labour from different genders based on the kinds of job in Great Britain in 2005 is illustrated by chart and counted in percentages.

... that the skilled trades was the first rank in men labour at a fifth .

It would be better if it is written like this.
of several jobs
in this chart
at the first ...


Home / Writing Feedback / A breakdown of employment labour from different genders based on the kinds of job in Britain 2005