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A breakdown of the process of water cycle. IELTS Task 1



veaenia 3 / 5  
Aug 4, 2015   #1
Hello, everyone! Please give me feedbacks to improve my essay
Thank you

The diagram below shows how rainwater is reused.

A breakdown of the process of water cycle is represented in the diagram. Although this consists of three different stages to complete the cycle, this only requires simple steps.

First, the household wastewater having been used is sent to the wastewater treatment plant to purify the sewage. After the water is cleaned, it is carried to the river. There is also water recycled in the tank so as that it can be used again for household needs.

A closer look at the clouds, when the rain falls, the rainwater is immediately collected in the rainwater tank. This tank saves the water for gardening purpose. The rest of uncollected water falls into the drainage system as storm-water, and then it is directly carried into the stream via drain.

The dam is useful to store the rainwater as a reservoir. In this case, this area experiences drought. Following that, the water from the dam is supplied to the water treatment plant. Before being distributed to the houses, this water is treated to produce drinking water for human consumption.



  • water_cycle.jpg


lcturn87 - / 423  
Aug 4, 2015   #2
Hello, I will provide you with feedback to help you improve.

It seems as if this is describing water filtration from the diagram that is presented.

The next paragraph delete:.. "having been used" The next sentence

The 3rd paragraph change some of the first sentence:" when the rain falls indicates that rainwater..." Change for "gardening purposes ". The end of the next sentence should be: "stream and through a drain."

Delete following that and replace with "Furthermore."" Change this sentence to: "...before being distributed to homes,..."

The rest of the essay is good.
justivy03 - / 2265  
Aug 15, 2015   #3
- First, the used household waste water having been used is sent...
- There is also water recycled in the tank so as that it can be used again for household needs.
- ...and then it is directly carried intounto the stream via drain.
- In this case, thisthe area experiences drought.
-...water treatment plant., ( if a sentence is a continuation of the first one, comma should be used, use the correct punctuation marks)Bb efore being distributed to the houses,

Good work on analyzing the graph, short, concise and just the right information to let the readers understand the graph presented.
Bayuwibowo 48 / 62  
Aug 31, 2015   #4
Hello, let me give the feedback for your improvement.

- Please, you can use other sentence conectors such as whilst, while, furthermore or others. It may lead you better flow in writing. Also, variant connectors develop your sentence structure.

- After the water is cleaned, it is carried to the river The river is carrying clean water which is has been processed by the water treatment.


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