Budget control; it is better to enjoy your money than you save your money?

I'm preparing for Ielts. Please give a feedback for this essay;

Question: Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Some people use their salary to enjoy their life. That is true statement. However, other people prefer to choose save their money than to spend it. It can be true that people need bail money for future time but difficult to save all salary. So, they need several ways to manage their income.

Firstly, people must control their expending. To be prudent is does not means stingy. In one side, all of living cost everyday always increases. And other side, to get a job is difficult. For example, price from a toothbrush is only Rp. 2500, but now it is Rp. 4000.

Secondly, people must buy things that they need. It is because sometimes people prefer to buy things that they want than they need. Each person always has a bad habit to spend wealth. For instance, shopping makes people lose to use their money.

In summary, some people need several manners to manage their money just to save or enjoy money not good measure. People must control their expanding and must buy things that they need not they want.

hallo ernhy..

you should open your lesson about Verbal and non verbal.

Thanks

Hi guys... I think it is double verb. You should remember 2 verb 1 conjunction :)

You need more words to write. It is only 180 words, dear :(


Para 1: Intro, restating the prompt (including hook and thesis)
Para 2: better to enjoy your money. To support this, give one specific example
Para 3: better to save your money. Also, raise one specific example
Para 4: As usual, restate the intro.
Use simple, compound, and complex sentences to create your paras. Paying attention to simple grammar: an articles, subject-verb agreement, plurals, and prepositions.
Brainstorm the ideas to help you easy construct the development of paras

Hope this helps :D

I actually wanted to ask you this question in my earlier comment, but somehow I have missed it out :(
Do you have enough word count here for this task? Your topic suggests that you are preparing for IELTS or TOEFL (better mention this fact in the title itself so that we can provide you with more task relevant comments). If this essay is for one of those tasks, then you need to meet their minimum word count to get a decent score.