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Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it (just spend or invest in business, save)


Nayazah 1 / -  
Aug 7, 2017   #1

How to use own money?



Money is essential part to fulfill our basic needs and is important for factor for our happy lives. Some people believe that they should enjoy a luxurious life style, while other believe that it is better to save money to secure their future. I think that it is better to save money in order to use them incase of emergency and for old age.

Many people believe that they should spend money and like to have luxurious lifestlye while other like to invest in form of business or buying shares. In my culture, most of people believe that it is better to invest in some form of business while others like to invest in banks, as they are offering good interest rates for fixed deposits. For instance, many companies and banks are adverting mutual funds, bonds and shares where they offer very interesting options for investing. Consequently, most of people can invest and make more money and secure their future.

Secondly, we should save money for our emergency. In everyone life there are some critical situations where money is main key for solving difficulties, as a result we should dedicate and save money for these kinds of situations. For instance, we may face some situation where there may be accident or some kind of surgery and saved money will be solution. By saving money we can avoid these kind of disasters.

Last , but not the least, we need to save money for our old age. This is the critical time where we are vulnerable and weak and very dependent on others. For instance, we can hire worker or hire a nurse who can look after overselves and take care of our daily needs.

In conclusion, although we should spend some part of money but we should save substantial amount of money for emergency and old age. In addition, we must also invest money and in this way provide support for our families.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,577 2488  
Aug 7, 2017   #2
Nayaz, I would really appreciate it if you would include the actual prompt instructions for your essay practice test the next time you post your essay here. You did not specify what kind of English test you are taking either. The review of your essay will depend upon the scoring considerations of the type of test that you are taking. Kindly make sure to do that the next time you post an essay for review. The lack of that information makes it difficult for me to judge whether your discussion approach is correct and if this is the sort of essay that would pass the required elements of the English test you are taking.

As a reminder, regardless of the kind of English test you will be taking, it is important for you to make sure that you consistently present your thoughts in 3-5 sentences. That will qualify your work as a complete paragraph instead of an incomplete or under developed paragraph. The sentence requirement helps you to better explain yourself instead of making unsupported statements as you did in the latter part of this essay. Each topic sentence that you give needs to have data to support it. A simple one line to support that information does not qualify as a valid reason if there are no additional discussions to strengthen your paragraph. You can see the difference in your work. Compare the complete body paragraphs that you wrote with the 2 sentence counterparts. Which one do you find more informative and thus, impressive to read? Exactly, the longer the discussion, the better explained your reasoning becomes.

The concluding sentence bothers me because you do not accurately wrap up the discussion. I know this for a fact but because you did not properly summarize your essay. However, since I don't have access to the original prompt, I cannot explain to you how you can better develop that part of your essay.


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