Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Building a large shopping centre in the neighborhood. My vote pro or against.



xierablind02 1 / -  
Apr 19, 2018   #1
It has recently been announced that a large shopping centre may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

big shopping complex close to my home



Building a large shopping centre in my neighborhood will have a profound effect. Shopping mall will give us a lot of job opportunities as well as some activities that we can relish. Some may agree with the plan while others will disagree. In my point of view building a shopping centre is a good plan. My arguments with my answers are listed as follows.

First, if there is a shopping mall in the neighborhood life will be very easy and convenient. In this frenetic society, we always wanted to have fast and convenient way of living. In the shopping mall we can get all the things that we wanted anytime that we need. For example, ingredients that we need for cooking, school supply, and so forth. These things that we need for everyday living we can find at the large shopping centre. In the shopping mall we can buy everything under the sun.

So, constructing mall in the neighborhood is convenient for many people.

Furthermore, shopping mall in the neighborhood will give us a lot of activities that we can relish. Some people enjoy going shopping, watching movies or having some coffee with some friends. We don't need to go to distant places in order to have some fun; we can enjoy those things in the neighborhood.

Taking into consideration, large shopping mall in the neighborhood will outweighs the cons. We can access all the necessities in our daily lives. In addition, it will give as enjoyment and entertainment.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15344  
Apr 20, 2018   #2
Shela, there are two mistakes contained in this otherwise acceptably presented opinion essay. The first mistake is that your opening paraphrase begins an immediate discussion of the question posed. As with all beginner writers, this is a common mistake made mostly because you are unfamiliar with the Task 2 writing requirements. The Task 2 essay requires a prompt paraphrase in the opening statement as a part of the English comprehension skills evaluation of the examinee. The proper opening statement here would have been similar to:

A shopping centre is believed to be within construction planning and development in my neighborhood. While others may not support the proposed construction plans, I am supportive of the commercial development in my area for several reasons. In this essay, I will be presenting the discussion of these personal reasons along with supporting examples.

The examiner needs to see evidence that you understood what the topic sentence of the prompt was and how you were expected to discuss the topic within the essay. In your presentation, you mistakenly presented actual reasons for your support of the plan immediately. You presented it in the first 2 sentences of the essay. You must avoid making that mistake in your successive essay presentations.

Aside from that, you are not allowed to present single, stand alone sentences that are not fully developed in terms of C&C requirements. Such a mistake will result in a scoring down of that particular scoring consideration. This could result in a severe low final score consideration for your work. Always present the 3-5 sentences per paragraph within 5 completely developed paragraph presentations.


Home / Writing Feedback / Building a large shopping centre in the neighborhood. My vote pro or against.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳