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Should business executives focus on making money? - IELTS WRITING TASK 2

dynaranjani 27 / 24 18  
Jan 9, 2016   #1
The purpose of business is to make money and they should concentrate only on this.
Do you agree or disagree?

Carrying on a business is another way to earn a living. While some people believe that business is just a matter of making money and that is why business executives should narrowly focus on this, others argue that gaining money solely represents as a small part of the whole purposes most business officers have. Therefore, I would personally claim that they need to concentrate on expanding their business skills rather than earning much more money.

Business executives are likely to have different intentions when they do a business. However, statistic has shown that 76% of start-ups tend to have a strong desire to make as much money as they could, since they believe that money can make the most important things in life, such as health, family relationships and friendships, so much better. Besides, according to them, money plays a vital role as well in dealing with their business requirements. Some business activities, namely marketing, advertisement and production, have a tendency to use money as the resource. Hence, it is suggested that business people should concentrate on getting much money.

The opponents, however, think that the prime aim of starting a business is to figure out how to make their business able to compete with competitors. Taking Japanese restaurant business in London as the example, there are approximately a hundred of Japanese restaurants in this megacity. As a result, the owners have to find the best way to survive and thrive. Thus, well-organized strategy and the ability to meet market's demand are far more important than making a profit.

In conclusion, although focusing on earning much money is utterly acceptable in term of business, people believe that in fact the main purpose is to prepare their business so as to compete with their rivals. Yet, in this issue I would argue that getting money is a bonus, while business executives should focus on honing their business capabilities in managing strategy and reading opportunities in the market.
mujahid_fadli 16 / 3 6  
Jan 9, 2016   #2
Halo @dynaranjani.
Let give me some suggestion to your essay.

- Try to make your paragraph follow the logical way.
- As you have mention your claim in introduction, that would be better to strengthen it again in its body paragraph.

Having said that, I would argue that there is factor that as imperative as money which the employers should consider to maintain their establishments. Taking the existing of a hundred number of Japanese and Chinese restaurants in London as an example. No one can deny that this is caused by the managers always struggle to come up with well-organized marketing strategy toward wider public over the years. An inevitable result, those enterprises have great possibilities to survive among similar businesses. There is no doubt that other variable are by far more important than money-oriented method.

Hope this helps.

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