IELTS - Business obligations that companies have toward community

IELTS - BUSINESSES ALSO HAVE SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE

the existence of businesses in a society

The purpose of business is making a profit, but it becomes increasingly when more people mention the business obligations that companies have. I extremely agree with the perspective that businesses need to do their social responsibilities.

It comes as no surprise when it comes to company's profit that most entrepreneurs devote their concentration on enhancing their profit in the competitive market now and that the reason why companies ignore the social responsibility whiles citizens are their huge and potential customers supporting and contributing on expanding their budget. Some companies cause even pollution by waste the amount of emission and wastewater without doing treatment process. Take Fosama company for an example. They peruse to get higher profit by not doing wastewater treatment process and cause a large-scale fish death in the central region in my country.

Due to the disadvantages which emerge from bottomless cupidity, both government in general and inhabitants in particular need to pass some policies and run campaigns in public to force entrepreneurs on doing their social obligation which can be listed: protecting the environment from pollution, organizing some charity organization. There is no shadow of a doubt that the businesses play a vital role in doing volunteer as their longevity depends on the development of a country as well as the living standard. In a competitive world, if the meet changing needs of customers, they will accomplish both the sole aim of maximizing profit and social duty. It is probably said that the companies which in good financial health tend to spend time taking care of communities instead of placing all mental power and pouring money to invest a new field or develop their own business.

In conclusion, I believe that entrepreneurs should place as much importance on their community responsibility as they do on their financial objectives.

@chuhaiyen
- ''It comes as...budget" This sentence is too long and complicated . You should instead split it into different sentences.
- Please dont take " Fosama company" as an example. There's a slim chance that the IELTS examiner will understand. If you still want to, then be more specific (a Vietnamese company....)

- Some frequent wrong uses of words do occur.
- Your essay includes a variety of great vocabularies but fails to make the most of them.

@chuhaiyen I believe that you did not upload the complete and proper prompt instructions for this essay. It is either you did not supply me with the correct instructions or, you have written an essay that lacks focus, contains numerous long sentences that eventually stop making sense, and shows a lack of English grammar ability on a scale that will assure you of a failing instead of passing score.

Your second paragraph is quite confusing to read. I cannot make heads or tails of what you are trying to explain in that paragraph because your sentences lack topic sentences and the whole paragraph has no degree of coherence within it. It provides the reader with undue stress as it is impossible to understand what you are trying to say.

The overall essay does not respond adequately to the prompt as you provided it. That is why I am wondering if you took shortcuts with your posting and did not post the complete prompt in an effort to not create an original title for your essay. If that is what you did, let me tell you now, you wasted an opportunity to gain a proper assessment of your essay. It cannot be properly reviewed due to the lack of original instructions. Do not post the complete prompt anymore. As a contributor, I can only advise you once. Just make sure to post the complete prompt, along with the discussion instructions with your next essay.