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IELTS task 1 (Cambridge 1) a survey of adult education. (two charts)

ladyjoy 3 / 10  
Nov 28, 2013   #1
Cambridge 1 Writing Task 1
The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.
There are two kinds of information given in the charts below. The first chart depicts reasons for getting education by adult people. The second one illustrates the percentage of distributed considering expenditure on education. Both charts will be analyzed before conclusion is shown.

According to the survey, majority of adults were interested in subject, the percentage of that was 40. Similar quantity (38%) belonged to the adults, who saw usefulness of education in gaining qualifications. Whereas, others preferred to think that education was helpful for their current jobs (22%). To improve prospects of promotion and enjoy learning/studying took the same percentage place, which was approximately near previous shown cause. A few percent of adults (12%) decided to study for being able to change jobs. At last, minority of adults (9%) were convinced that getting education was worth because of meeting people.

As we can see from the pie-chart, distributing of money has such picture. 40% of mentioned amount would go to individuals, which was only 5% more than employers' payment. The fewer sums should go to taxpayers, the percentage of that was estimated 25%.

Thus, from the observation, we can conclude our thoughts like this: many people were persuaded to get education because of subjects; average of them would like to improve their professions, positions and studying quality. Whilst, there were some adults, who would use education to find more suitable jobs or meet new people. The expenditure on education by the adults was divided into three parts.

Rachel26HJ 3 / 6 2  
Nov 28, 2013   #2
There are few sentences with two subjects:

majority of adults were interested in subject, the percentage of that was 40.

The majority of adults were interested in subject, accounting for 40% of the adults taking this survey.

The fewer sums should go to taxpayers, the percentage of that was estimated 25%

A quarter believe the cost should be shared by taxpayers.

One more thing, the way to present the percentage, which is putting the % in a bracket, seems repeat many time in your essay. Probably you can try to use different ways to present it.
OP ladyjoy 3 / 10  
Nov 29, 2013   #3
Dear Rachel26HJ than you very much for notice. I was in hesitation during writing of that sentence. It is valuable point for me. Also repeating of percentage I couldn't change, because I was afraid to make mistakes or to share less information than I needed. On the other hand, I have heard that we have to describe all the information even if that in numbers, too. I just didn't know how:)

Thanks a lot!
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Nov 30, 2013   #4
This task is aimed at assessing your report writing skills. So, you should adopt a tone which is more appropriate for reporting these graphical presentations. So, avoid being verbose. Stick to the point and sound more official in this response. Also, the highlighted line is not clearly expressed :(

The two charts show the results of a survey carried on adult education. While the bar chart illustrates the reasons for adult education, the pie chart illustrates the percentage ??????? .... your diagram is too small - I cannot see it's details :(
OP ladyjoy 3 / 10  
Nov 30, 2013   #5
Oh, thank you Dumi! You are always in proper time! I noticed that pie-chart is small. But I tried to highlight the information in the first chart (It seemed more important). Really it was very hard to write the essay with different types of charts. I did not know how to begin it:) and where was appropriate to start describing the second one. thank you for correcting! I will pay attention on it.

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