Canadian residents and their place of living - IELTS Test task 1 bar chart

Places visited by Canadian people

The chart compares the number of Canada's resident who visited different places.
The most popular leisure place is cinema in different groups, except the new migrants who born in other countries. Meanwhile, the theatre figure showed the low-level data of visitors. Surprisingly, library was popularity in new migrants born in other countries.

It is clear that cinema is the place that attracted people to attend, 70% of local people and 50% of English-speaking migrants, exclude the non-English-visitor showed a negligible number, only 10%of non-English countries' migrants. 20% to 25% of Canadians and English as first language migrants.

Approximately, half proportion English-speaking residents visited the zoo. The number of local resident and non-English-speaking residents was similarity, among 35% and 40%. The library was a popular choice for those people who came from non-English-speaking countries, the proportion reached 55%. Almost quarter people, include Canadians and English as first language counterparts.

• 
  Question
  

@tesshung

Regarding task achievement: I think your overview is a little bit too detailed so it does not state the most striking features of the graph. The data was not clearly described in your writing. For example, the proportion of people visiting cinema is 70%; 65% and 50% respectively for those born in Canada, migrants from English-speaking country and migrants from other countries.

Regarding grammar and vocabulary: you wrote many fragments. Please keep in mind that you need at least a subject and a verb to make a finished sentence: "only 10%of non-English countries' migrants." "20% to 25% of Canadians and English as first language migrants." are examples of you unfinished sentences.

You also have problems with word forms and articles:A HALF OF English-speaking residents ....The number of local resident and non-English-speaking residents was SIMILAR...almost A QUARTER OF people...