Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS: capital punishment is essential to our society



y0_3mma 19 / 28  
Dec 28, 2012   #1
Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes or violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Practiced in more than 21 countries around the globe, death penalty is the execution one has to undergo for the capital crimes he has done. Many people agree that the society is more secure if the capital punishment is put into practice. However, there are also some who claim that taking other people's life is inhuman. I personally agree with the first point of view. 65

One important argument in favor of my view comes with the ancient saying 'Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth'. Even in the justice system of the first primitive tribes the mentality was the same: if someone took one's life, he had to be killed. For example, in Ancient Greece murderers and rapers were burned or decapitated in the center of the village, in the settler's eyes. Rulers used to believe that it was a model for other people who, by seeing those terrifying scenes, would be aware of what might have happened to them if they committed murders. 100

What is more, people who are not punished and are set free are more likely to commit murders again. It has been scientifically proven that 70 percent of the prisoners who are released from prison continue to kill people for different reasons. Even if they are psychopaths or work with mafia, the outcome is the same: innocent people are killed and going out in the streets becomes a more and more dangerous activity for everyone. The death penalty is the perfect punishment, because the killer who is eliminated will not strike again. 94

All these being considered, the rate of crime and violence would dramatically increase if capital punishment was not put into practice. I am inclined to believe that our society is safer if the killers pay the same price as their innocent victims did. 43

joythblessy 86 / 266  
Dec 29, 2012   #2
Hai..luca...

I personally not prefer to write 1st view, later view, former idea...like that words...
Because, the reader will not always remember which one is former, later...it force the reader to go back and repeat reading. I feel it is not good.

Innocent people...===>

...and going out in the streets becomes more and more risky for ordinary people.

Tessy

Excuse for spelling mistakes as i am using mobile
dumi 1 / 6795  
Dec 31, 2012   #3
Practiced in more than 21 countries around the globe, death penalty is the execution one has to undergo for the capital crimes he hasdone.

Great start. I suggest this small alteration ;
Practiced in more than 21 countries around the globe, death penalty is the execution one has to undergo for the capital crimes he has committed.
The word "crime" always goes with the word "commit"

society is more secure if the capital punishment is put into practice

society is more secured if the capital punishment is brought into action
Very good introduction. :)

One important argument in favor of my view comes with the ancient saying 'Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth'.

Awesome!
You write so well. You would surely go for a flying score!
Good Luck!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: capital punishment is essential to our society
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳