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Catostrophic earthquake in Southern Haiti: issue of international significance



Miss_Swiss 2 / 2  
Aug 23, 2010   #1
Please discuss an issue of international significance that has occured in the last year and is of particular importance to you.

Your response must be between 400-750 words.

Southern Haiti earthquake



On Tuesday the 12th of January the catostrophic earthquake in Southern Haiti came with no warning one to two hundred thousand poeple were killed and about three million people were greatly affected by this devastation,and in need of emergency aid whether it was their homes their businesses,anything that they cherished was swept away.Haiti is considered to be the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere with a population of nearly ten million people,eighty percent of most Haitians live on less than two dollars a day Haiti was already living under the poverty line. Once the 7.0 eathquake struck it was disastrous,Buildings were demolished and collapsed. Immediately when the Red Cross was informed about this they dispatched a relief team from Geneva and the UN's World Food Program and flew in two planes with emergency food aid right away.The Inter-American Development Bank said it was immediately approving a Two hundred thousand dollar grant for emergency aid.Red Cross Raises five million plus dollars for Haiti through the text message campaign,which is mind blowing.

,Thankyou in advance.

Uniqua K

zengrz - / 89  
Aug 24, 2010   #2
Hi.

My first impression of this essay is that it is a newspaper report, which defeats the purpose of this essay. The section, which forms the integral part of the essay, does not say anything about how you are affected by the earthquake, but facts that are all too well known by everyone around the world. All this can be sum up in just one sentence, like "The Haiti earthquake has affected me a lot".

What I prefer to hear is more about how you feel, what you have done volunteering, like you have mentioned, and what you have learned. I was affected by this event too, but each of us will see different things and these experience is worth sharing and appreciated. Connect the earthquake to your own life, talk about how it has changed you, about the conflict that happen within you. You cannot simply use a disastrous event to evoke emotions from your reader. It is not going to work.

I truly wish you see something valuable that is worth sharing.

G L~
dfrojas 2 / 6  
Aug 25, 2010   #3
Hey , the first paragraph dont say nothing, only said negative things and things that the world already know, you should say what about you going to talk and then describe why and how these event impact you, you said it , but would be better if you do it more specific, also say what positive things you can carry to the university after these event that impacted you.
OP Miss_Swiss 2 / 2  
Aug 25, 2010   #4
Wow was it really that bad? I guess I need major help
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Aug 26, 2010   #5
Well, I can tell you have a good mind for language. You can write very well. It is important, though, to read a little about how to write good paragraphs, good topic sentences, and a good thesis statement. Google for those things, use paragraphs, use a spell checker, and you will make a big improvement! Do not be discouraged. :-)


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