Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Essay about causes of crimes - the main reasons are the lack of education, religion and drugs.



Abderrahime 1 / -  
Jan 5, 2017   #1

Education and Crime



Crimes Is a serious issue that the people suffer from . Many of harshness and brutality dominated the life of these criminals. It has a lot of effects like the fear and anxiety. Therefore, The Main reasons of that problem are The Lack of education, religion and drugs.

First of all, in the developing countries and the countries with political problems, the people suffer a lot from those criminals who don't care about the human being. However, They Care about their personal reasons .Similarly, the lack of education is the main cause of the problem because the statistics said that a huge number of the criminals don't have a good education, and they don't complete their studies. Consequently, the education is very important for any person and country.

Secondly, Palestine, Syria and many countries in Africa and Asia suffered a lot from the crime. Throughout the History, religion plays a big role in all the wars that happened in the world. Whatever, those criminals wear the mask of religion to kill people and said that the religion did. As a result, the religion is innocent from them and it came to help us not to destroy it.

Thirdly, the most common cause of crimes is drugs. Indeed, it is a big problem that needs to resolve soon. When the criminal needs some drugs, he will search for it for any price .Therefore, he search for money by violence and hardness .As a result, drugs plays a big role in the world of crime.

Finally, education, religion and drugs are the main causes of crime. In addition, if the country interested about the people, it will give them a good education. Consequently, they will organize their religion , and stay away from the drugs.. Many of harshness and brutality dominated the life of these criminals. It has a lot of effects like the fear and anxiety. Therefore, The Main reasons of that problem are The Lack of education, religion and drugs.

SV kumar 1 / 5  
Jan 5, 2017   #2
Hello Abderrahime,
[Crimes Is a serious issue that the people suffer froms.] The second part of the sentence is not complete.Crime is a serious issue.People have been suffering from it.

Try to avoid the words like, a lot, big , whatever. they weaken the idea. use particular words for expression.
Try to use other synonyms of people.aviod repeating the same word.
the people suffer a lot from those criminals who don't care about the human being. However, They Care about their personal reasons (State this point through an example.It is unclear)

There are some issues on grammar. You need to work on sentence structure such as
Whatever, those criminals wear the mask of religion to kill people and said that the religion did.(Those criminals killed the people and blamed the religion.)

Make a possible to use one tense throughout the essay.It is helpful for the flows.
Lorelly 1 / 3  
Jan 6, 2017   #3
the people suffer a lot ...

Care: care
because the statistics said SAY
This is just a pair of examples. From what I saw, you need to go over the use of articles. When you say 'the people,' you are talking about a specific population, yet you are not telling which one. 'People' is more general. Same happens with articles, namely a and an.


Home / Writing Feedback / Essay about causes of crimes - the main reasons are the lack of education, religion and drugs.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳