please can you this story for me?
THE CAY
...
In the end Phillip was alone with his cat ,he was very sad and he cried very much ,
Then he put Timthy under the sand and return to his house ,he repair every thing and wrote the help word also he made a big fire, after two days the airplane came to the island and saw him ,then two men with a boat came to him and took him with his cat ,they asked him about every thing and he answered them , they brought him to the hospital and he set about 4 months to treat his eyes and he became see again,he came back to his family in WILLEMSTAD city but he was sad about his friend Timothy .
Phillip's family heard asound and saw the fire ,then they became afraid and the mother wanted to travel to another state which is VIRGIN but the hu sband and her son refused that . for seven days, no trading movement had been obe served in or out of Willemstad because of theGerman ship attacked every...
i believe the sentence structure is not so good.Also it is quite narrative thus becomes uninteresting and boring. lack of cohesion as well.
As consequence, the food and water became less.
the wife asked her hu sband to travel with her son to another state but the hasband told her that is more dangaures dangerous
because one British ship moved away to England ,far away across the dark water the Germans attacked it.
,for this reason the boy had a stronge headache and he became blind, they were eating fish (they caught flying fishes of the sea when they were jump out of the water )but the drinking water become less and no boat or eroplane aeroplane see them,also some Shrakes sharks attacked them.
you should try to use MSwords to correct basic grammatical errors.try to make the story more gripping by putting dialogues in it instead of making it narrative all the time.
thank you so much
The story takes place in small island (Cay ) which is in Caribbean sea near the Venezuela. On this island there is city named Willemstad, where one family lives. It con sists of a son named Phillip and his parents.
Capitalize names, like Philip and Cay.
One day the German ship attacked another island near the Willemstad city, and Phillip's family heard a sound and saw the fire. Then they became afraid and the mother wanted to travel ...
Capitalize the first word of every sentence:
For seven days, no trading movement had been observed in or out of Willemstad because of the German ship attacked every one in the sea. ----- this is a good sentence!
As consequence, the food and water became less scarce.
The wife asked her husband to travel with her son to another state but the hasband husband told her that is more dangerous because one British ship moved away to England, far away across the dark water the Germans attacked it. ---- I don't understand this sentence.
Do not capitalize all letters of a word:
TIMOTHY
Timothy is ...
One sunny day they were on the beach and the weather was very bad, so Timothy told the son...
You still have a lot of mistakes, but the meaning is very clear!! Keep up the good work!!
:-)
thanks a lot
can you check please?
The story took place in small island (Cay) which is in Caribbean sea near the Venezuela. the characters for this story Phillip and Timothy.
Phillip and Timothy were on a small ship in Caribbean Sea in 1942. One night, a German ship attacked their ship and it went down. Timothy pulled Phillip into a lifeboat. While they were in the lifeboat Phillip went blind. Then they arrived at the Cay. In this island Timothy died because there was stronge storm.then the Phillip become alone. After two days one eroplane came and saw his a fire, after that one boat came to relife him , the boat driver took him to hospital, Phillip became see again,he came back to his family but he was sad about his friend Timothy.
Opinion
This story has important information and the auther listed it in simplified manner and concept words . I like this story because it has easy words , in avarage levels and the order for it was nice, also this story has some pictures to clear the main idea .
I learned from story how to spend your life in critical time and how to looking for food in the sea also how to inform others if you have problem or you miss your road, I advise every one to read it because it is very interesting and useful also it has comprehension to used to understand fast, furthermore ,there are connection among its shapters ,in addition to many series of it in different leveles.In contrast, there is one point was n't clear! which is the reason for , why the boat stop in a Cay island and it doesn't continue to their island ?
Conclution
Literary reading stories continuing the best way to learn. Literery give you alot of knowledge .when I read this story I understand how can I choose a suitable wards and how to make plot because the meaning and vocabulary was clear.so I chose this book as it contains many of the concepts of value and style as well as authers in the storytelling wonderful,so the story is very good to interesting and comprehension,finally I recommend every one to read it due to it is useful to improve your grammer,it has a common wards which we used it daily in our live.
In On this island...
This story has important information, and the author arranged it in simplified manner with good concept words. I like this story, because it has easy words and is written with an arrangement that is nice. Also, this story has some pictures to clarify the main idea.
I learned from story how to manage my life in critical difficult times and how to look for food in the sea. Also, I learned how to inform others if I have problem. or I miss your road, I advise every one to read it, because it is very interesting and useful also it has comprehension to used to understand fast, (I don't understand this part.) Furthermore, there are connections among its chapters in addition to many series of it in different levels. (I don't understand this part either.)
Conclusion
I hope these corrections help you! You should try to rewrite the parts that I could not figure out how to correct. Use shorter sentences, so that it will be clearer. :-)
thanks a lot a lot
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