Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


CBEST ESSAY! CONTRIBUTION OF TECHNOLOGY - POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE ?



KhushbooVohra 8 / 17  
Jan 10, 2018   #1
Technology is very much a part of modern life. Many people see technology as a force that has escaped from human control. Others feel that technology has improved the quality of life. Do you think that the contribution technology has made to modern life has been positive or negative? State your position on this issue and support it with appropriate examples.

the influence of technical inventions for the life today



Technology is the most unstable medium as it keeps on changing with time and new innovations. Today man has made exceptional progress in the field of technology. Our lives suddenly are surrounded by technology from a doorbell to the coffee machine. Technology has improved the quality of life and the contributions made to the modern life has been positive. I shall advocate my views in the following paragraphs.

Technology has been spread in all the domains of our life. There have been innumerable inventions of medical types of equipment. Basic pieces of equipment like an X-ray machine to a complex machine like a mammography all have been very useful in saving lives of a number of people. Many diseases and disorders can be cured or detected with the help of the various technologies. It has helped medical professionals to gather more accurate data and analysis of the issue.

One of the most positive outcomes of technology according to me has been in the field of education. One can teach and study online and earn a degree while doing odd jobs in the day to support himself and his family. With the growing access to the internet, one gets access to all the information that one needs to study or research about. With new applications being developed along with internet, education is reaching the remote corners of the world where there are no traditional schools for the kids.

Mobile phones have contributed to healthy relations between distant family members and friends. Previously, people had to trunk call, which would take a couple of days to contact the other person which was quite costly and grueling. But these days one can talk to their parents residing in different countries at their own ease. With the help of mobile phones and cameras, one can capture beautiful memories and store them for a lifetime. They can view the images and videos any time as well as share with others who could not be a part of that memory.

With the help of technology, everyone is updated with the latest news happening around the world. Weather forecast has helped man to plan his day or trip ahead with the help of the machines at the meteorology department. Banking has become considerable easy and manageable. One can send and receive money sitting in any corner of the world. One can make donations and help in the funding for any cause.

All in all, inventions like the nuclear power has created disasters in history but the advantages drastically outweigh the disadvantages. So technology has made life much better that was in the past and it will further indulge in the future.

congviec18 1 / 3  
Jan 11, 2018   #2
much better that was in the past and it will

I think this should be "better than that was...". It's just a minor error!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15344  
Jan 11, 2018   #3
Khushboo, what happened? You already scored a 3 with your previous exercise and now you are back to a 2 on the scoring scale. while your discussion was relevant to the prompt and you presented a number of reasons with qualified examples, you did not really develop your discussions in terms of reasoning and your position on the topic. This was the result of trying to overwhelm the examiner with numerous, partially developed responses instead of focusing on say, 3 solid reasons with strong supporting explanations based upon your opinion. It is not the number of examples that count, is the quality of the discussion along with the example. That is why you should have limited your discussion to the examples that could have fully supported and explained your opinion on the topic instead. Word of advice, never say "according to me" in an essay. This shows a lack of English education and grasp of proper sentence development on your part. "According to" implies that you will be presenting information taken from a different source. The source can never be yourself. "According to" implies second hand information, since the information is coming from you, this is not second hand information but rather, a first person point of view. Therefore, the first person pronoun should be used as in "My opinion is that" or "In my opinion" or even "I believe that..." and "Personally..." As first person references to your opinion.


Home / Writing Feedback / CBEST ESSAY! CONTRIBUTION OF TECHNOLOGY - POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE ?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳