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CBEST- Imagine yourself as a child... (personal experience essay)


okdeerpass 5 / 12 2  
May 16, 2014   #1
Please help me to correct my usage and word choices. I am not good at writing essays of personal experience.

Topic:
Imagine yourself as a child taking a walk through your neighborhood or through the town in which you lived. In an essay, describe the people you would see and what you would be doing together.

There is a place I spent a long time living in. When I feel frustrated, depressed and face some problems that I cannot solve in a short time, I imagine myself going back there and gain a new power for my real situation. The place is my hometown located in the country of Taiwan. The small, old town has many antique commodities. Most store owners are friendly elders who are familiar with my parents. As I think back those old days in the town, I would find my best friend, Lia, who could play and share her secrets with me. We would spend a whole day hanging out on the streets and also our special places.

Lia and I had similar interests. As a school day ended, we would ride our pink bikes to anywhere in the town. If it was a hot day, we would ride toward a park which was full of big trees, and eat our snacks brought from home. We particularly liked to lay down on the lawn, staring at blue skies and counting how many clouds. Lia was taller than me. She was just like my old sister and would like to invite me to explore every corner in the town.

In the summer, Lia would always show me secret paths to hike in the mountains. The paths she directed me often differed from the locals. I felt excited as she brought me to walk on that road. We pretended ourselves as an adventurer. With courage and curiosity, we could discover a new kind of flower and lovely creatures. Playing some imaginative games would be our habit. As we collected beautiful flowers in the mountains, we would use tools to produce a special liquid. The game made me look like a beverage producer and one of us would play the role as a customer.

Besides hiking and playing games, we would study together. Lia was good at math, so she often taught me how to find the answer of math assignments. In the afternoon, I would bring a story book and read for her to thank for her instruction. Although we were sometimes blamed by our parents for being late back homes, we cherished every moment we spent together. Time to say goodbye when we were high school age. I moved to other city and now came to America.

I do long for to have a visit to our small town, exploring every place we had been in. I desire to do some activities: smelling seasonal flowers, hearing the sound of streams, and laying on the grass. The town in Taiwan is full of my childhood memory and unforgettable friendship.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
May 16, 2014   #2
I imagine myself going back there and to gain a new power forto face my real situation.

The place is my hometown located in the country of Taiwan.

....you better be more specific about this place. Tell its name and where it is located. The reader would be interested in knowing those facts for sure :)

The small, old town has many antique commodities.unique features
.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
May 17, 2014   #3
When I feel frustrated, depressed and face some problems that I cannot solve in a short time, I imagine myself going back there and to gain a new powerconfidence and power to face my real situation.

The place was my hometown, a small town called Fu-Gang, located in the country of Taiwan.

The small, old town had many unique features.

Though it is small in size, it is a very unique place in many respects.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
May 17, 2014   #4
I felt excited as she brought me to walk on that road.

Feeling excited, I would follow her to explore those beautiful walking paths.

We pretended ourselves as an adventurer.

We used to pretend to be so adventurous.

Lia was good at math, so she often taught me how to find the answer of math assignments.

Lia was very good at math and she often taught me how to solve a more complex math problem.


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