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Cbest essay topic - Is individual effort necessary to combat pollution and global warming?



Anita Paul 1 / -  
Sep 6, 2018   #1

an individual effort to change the world?



An important issue in today's world is improving our environment and preserving the planet.However some people believe that individual efforts to combat pollution,global warming,and the depletion of natural resources are not likely to make a difference.Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with this opinion.Support your opinion with specific reasons.

The issue of improving our environment and preserving the planet is a controversial one.However,some people believe that individual efforts to combat pollution,global warming,and the depletion of natural resources will not likely make a difference . Others believe that it is the duty of every individual to protect our planet from the growing pollution level which is the cause of global warming.We are not using properly the natural resources which nature has bestowed on us and as a result it is depleting.After careful thought ,I believe that it is important to improve our environment and protect our planet from global warming.Individual effort is necessary to combat these problems which are harmful for our planet.Because of global warming there is less rain which is responsible for the destruction of forest and other natural resources.

Firstly, we should educate ourselves of the evil effects of pollution which is the result of so many diseases.We are not getting fresh air nowadays because of the growing number of vehicles on road and the factories/industries which releases lot of bad smoke creating a havoc on the air.Individual efforts like biking to school,offices and walking to nearby places instead of using car will help a lot to improve the situation.To change and influence others, first we have to change ourselves.

Secondly, we should be aware of the importance of recycling. Recycling not only helps to reuse waste product for making new things but also helps our planet to remain clean.Maintaining good health and hygiene keeps us away from various illness.We should also teach our kids about the usefulness of recycle so that they can segregate the things which is to be recycled. Small efforts from within helps in improving the environment.

Thirdly , we should not forget our natural resources which nature has provided us and we should take good care of it.Planting trees is a good concept which we should reinforce in our society.Trees are the best source of fresh air.We can take initiative by conducting seminars and teach others how we can preserve the trees by not cutting them. Big cities are expanding their infrastructure by cutting the trees and making skyscrapers and big roads. This is the result of increasing pollution.People should realize the consequences and therefore plant more trees.

So, keeping into view several reasons which are responsible for pollution and global warming,one should take individual effort to change the world and make a difference. We should not forget our duty of improving our environment and saving our planet by devoting little time or effort every day.

Please give honest feedback on my essay so that I can improve next time.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15344  
Sep 6, 2018   #2
Anita, I am afraid that you will not like the feedback I am about to give you. The score for this essay will be a 1 because you failed to focus and discuss the prompt materials. You have shown that you lack an understanding of the assignment task so your discussion is not on track with the target audience and discussion purpose. Here is an outline of the mistake that you made:

Discussion instruction: Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with this opinion. Support your opinion with specific reasons.
Your Task Response: I believe that it is important to improve our environment and protect our planet from global warming. Individual effort is necessary to combat these problems which are harmful for our planet


Based on the above outline, I am sure that you can see what caused the error in your presentation and why your total discussion of the essay was not on the mark when it came to addressing the prompt. You should only discuss what is being required. You should never create your own discussion topic as that will cause the automatic failure of your whole essay test.

You failed to discuss the statement as it was provided. You misunderstood the instructions and you did not present any information that will help you explain a response to the original prompt. What you did was offer suggestions as to how individuals can help save the environment. That was not the point of the discussion. It was this prompt deviation that highlighted how little you understood, no, let me correct that, how you did not understand the prompt at all and still continued to discuss the topic based on an idea you wanted to discuss even if it ran counter to the original prompt.

In addition to that, your 2nd sentence in the first paragraph is practically a cut and paste of the original prompt presentation. You need to change that presentation in such a manner that no keywords from the original essay are used . You actually need restate the prompt correctly, using your own words. This cut and paste method of paraphrasing is also another clue for me, as the examiner that highlights how you do not have a good enough grasp of the English language to be able to express your own understanding of a given topic. You understand what it means, but you cannot explain it in your own way. You lack the English vocabulary to express yourself in an original manner based on a given discussion topic.

These problems are not very easy to overcome because these are English comprehension / English understanding problems that cannot be corrected by simply practicing to write the essays. You need to first, be able to understand English words in the sense of the instructions, something that can only be done if you are willing to ask others to explain the prompt to you and how to approach it. Have the question or instructions translated to your native tongue for now in order to help you understand the point of the exercise. From that point, you should be able to slowly start understanding the English versions of the exam prompts.


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